Try

Dear blog, 

It's going to be busy day tomorrow, my brother, and his family are coming down. They are a big bunch, we'll be making food, and getting games a going, and everyone will be filling up the house, and having a good time, I hope.

I wish I could be profound. But as this moment, I'm not sure how.

My mind keeps talking too much. I want it to quiet down, and pause.

I want my heart to do the talking. And I would like to laugh more, and take myself not so seriously. 

I would like to not be so serious. I was always a serious kid.

I would like to to feel like I could verbalize my thoughts more, without being afraid of my own truth.

I would like to pull humor out of the cracks of life, and if my mind was going to tell me stories, it would be funny ones. Maybe jokes, I could actually remember, funny tidbits I collected. This would be worth storing. Things to make people laugh. Yes.

And yet, serious, is here. I've spent a lot of time with her. 

She thinks life a serious business.

I've told her that it's not, not as much as she thinks.

She thinks she has to be perfect.

I've told her that she's fine the way she is.

She thinks she can't make mistakes.

I told her everyone does.

She's afraid of so many things.

I told her it's okay.

She wants to love herself, but she hasn't allowed herself much room.

I told her, that I allow her.

She's doesn't know how to let go of all the things she thought she was, so she can flow. Things like guilt, anger, and fear, and pain, and playing small.

I told her she doesn't have to let go because those things are not hers to hold.

She doesn't know how to have boundaries, at the same time as being boundary-less.

 I told her love is her protection.

She's afraid of causing pain,

I told her pain is a teacher.

She feels confused, and wonders how to navigate. It feels like all stories are wearing thin.

I told her to navigate one moment, at a time. One present moment at a time.

She's a little unsure about this. One moment she thinks she's not enough, and the next, too much.

I told her to pause. And listen to the voice that tells her the truth of her being. The voice of love. And to disregard all the other voices.

She told me she'd try.