Dear blog,
All three performances went better than expected.
Blue notes, we pulled together. Though there were some challenging bits, and vibes.
The day of, though everyone felt like we were all trying. And that was good.
The best song of that day, was a song my sister, played the violin for, while we sang. Away in a manger, a really beautiful arrangement.
The beautiful thing was about that song, I could feel my heart beating uncommonly fast. And I realized, that I felt it was my sister's heart I was feeling. I felt really connected to my sister.
Then we started singing, and I looked around, for an extra soprano voice, as the volume of felt amplified. And I realized that something had come down to our stage.
The third thing for this beautiful song. For the beautiful words.
My sister felt it. I felt it.
And I was grateful. For a song, for the spirit. For that peace.
That space.
I don't know if anyone else felt it. But Bessie did, and I did. And if only for that moment, it was worth it.
Afterward, everyone was so friendly, but it was a lot of energy, and so much. I hugged so many people. I was feeling friendly, and wanting to visit, and see people. And I was happy that I felt friendly. That I wanted to visit.
After spring show earlier this year, they had asked me to be Vice president of the group, which I didn't really know what that meant. I wasn't sure if I wanted to....
The I me, didn't.
But I talked to God about it, and I felt I should. So I said yes.
Apparently, the secretary of the group who counts the proceeds from the show, asked me, vice president to watch her count the money afterward. I guess she normally does it alone, but someone in the group thought one other person should be present, to make sure that no body bes naughty.
Anywho, so we went into a corner, and I watched her count the money, and it was quite cute, because many people donated 100.00 and 50.00 bills. What was beautiful about it, was that it was a very small turnout for this show. It was very small crowd, watching. And it wouldn't have equaled the large amount that was made.
We donate all the proceeds to charity. Last year, the group bought a hearing aide for a high school kid. I'm not sure what they'll do with it this year.
I felt so much hot chi in my body, afterward. We both felt wired. I wanted to ground. Bessie and I went outside, and walked under the full moon. It was beautiful. So beautiful I thought I would set up my tent in the greenhouse and sleep outside---even though it was cold. So I made six trips back and fourth bringing my blankets, and things to make a bed in the cold of winter.
I remembered something my mom had mentioned about me using a wheelbarrow. Though late in remembering, I used the wheelbarrow to tote blankets in at the very last trip. So I did that with my weighted blankets, and that was nice.
I also thought that I had never slept outside in December, so I thought I'd give it a try. I was very bright because of the moon. And I wore a glove, on one hand, and a hat on the other, so as not to freeze.
I was pretty warm, but my nose was very cold. All in all, I always like sleeping on the ground. It was a bit cold. And I sort of wanted to come inside after while. But once once you have all your gear set up. You just stay until the morning.
The roosters had fun crowing when the sun came up, in the adjoining chicken coup.
I did enjoy coming out into the sun, and just sitting in the morning light and basking in it. The sun felt so good. So loving.
Sunday, ah, well that entire day felt busy.
We were both tired from the day before, but we both felt like we should go to our ward Choir practice, as my sister had said the week before that they had asked us to please come, because they needed us.
We got ready as fast as we could, and walked to the Church. We walked in, and there were only about five people singing in the whole choir. I don't know if everyone was busy that day. But we came and sang songs out of the hymn book.They were grateful for extra voices. And afterward, my uncle talked to us about his granddaughter with many many health issues, that was finally learning to crawl.
We also invited him to come and sing for the Messiah. He wasn't sure, as he hadn't been able to go to any of the practices.
We told him to come anyway, if he wanted. And he looked like he wanted to. So Bessie told him what songs we would be singing, so he could look them up on Youtube. And that if he wanted to come, the men were asked to wear a red tie, if he came.
And you could tell he wanted to.
So we went home, and I rummaged around, trying to get gifts ready for the piano player, and Choir director. So much was happening. Bess was trying to get memos out for the choir members, about what to wear, what time, and if they wanted to help set up.
She left at 4:00 to help set up the stage, as there was a lot of things to do, and the choir director, and Doug the play director from Fillmore also the choir director for Fillmore's Handel's Messiah was helping by bringing loads of his sound equipment.
There were several things I needed to do at home, so I stayed. My mom's arm was hurting her, so I gave her a massage.
Then I walked to Ameila house, our neighbor she had a bad headache that had been ongoing, that made one of her eyes blurry. So while Bess was helping set up things there, I was doctoring our friend, and giving her some fresh ginger juice, and a head and foot massage. It was cute, because while I was massaging her feet, her dog came up, and put its head under my armpit, and just was loving.
When I got home, I got some treats ready for the choir (which they didn't eat) Printed some programs. (which they didn't need) lol And then got ready.
I road up with Sarah, Mom, and Jeana. Though while transferring some stuff form one car to the other, I ran into a bush tree, and scraped my eye with a branch.
Got there just in time, and what was beautiful, was the turnout for this event was great. It was well attended, much more than previous years. Bess had saved me a seat right next to her, and a young girl in choir we had made friends with. And it was beautiful because we were all seated by loving friends. And in the very front of the choir, so we would get the full on sound from behind.
Bess had spotted my uncle early on in the audience, and noticed he was wearing a red tie. She asked him, "Aren't you singing with us?"
He looked sheepish, and said that he wanted to, he also was worried about being judged for singing without ever practicing. He also forgot his music book. She told him she had extra, and walked him to a seat by someone he felt comfortable sitting by, and seemed very pleased, almost to tears, especially afterward.
Fillmore's choir came too, and so it was this huge choir, much bigger than our handful of people in Delta, and the orchestra was bigger than normal, and we also had some new really young people. One ten year old, I believe, playing the timpani.
The whole feeling of it was more real, and more friendly than normal. Our choir director forgot some things, like when to stand us up, and sit us down, but it was cute. Because it was real.
And both directors from Fillmore, and Delta got to be seen, and they sang solos. And that was beautiful, because they both really wanted to. And they both did a beautiful job.
Bess sang the Angel's recitative, as she has done since she was ten, or twelve. And that was beautiful. It was interesting because I was a seat away from where the soloists sang, so I got to really feel the soloists.
The best songs, were the Hallelujah chorus, everyone stood up, and Bess motioned for the crowd to sing, and they did. And it was powerful. Bess felt it too. The third thing showed up. My mom cried, and you could see that the audience felt something too.
And also for the Amens. It came again.
And it was good. So much energy. So many hugs. Everyone lingered longer. It was better than any of the other performances than I can remember, for many, many years. It was just good. Less ego, and more love.
Bess said she had fun helping to sculpt the energy while they were setting up risers, and sound equipment and at first, she said that everyone felt like they were just doing a job. But it ended up in fun, and it was real, and one of the best parts for her. She loved it. And had fun playing with everyone setting up, being silly, and just being real.
Phew...
My heart feels a bit tired. And my head, and body feels weird.
It was so much.
Big or large gatherings.
It's been a lot. I had to go home and cry, afterward. It's hard to explain why. Energetically, if your sensitive, it's just a lot.
I have to spend some time alone, to feel myself. My home frequency after these events.
Yesterday too, our last Bluenotes concert of the year, at the care center. And that was good too. Just a lot. So many souls, so many. Bess has put out a ton of energy too.
We also sang, Away in a manger, and I felt the third thing again. Bess did too. And we both thought the choir felt it this time.
And that is beautiful.
We have one more Messiah performance on Sunday, my koto teacher is back from Japan so I'm staring lessons again this week.
But for the most part. It's been beautiful.
But we are both very tired.
And I wouldn't mind being a hobbit for a while.
What stands out, is that I feel, things are changing for the better slowly, but surely. People are softening.
Souls are remembering something good. Even with the hard bits, there is still something better than it's ever been.
I feel slowly but surly we are all starting to feel one another, more, and more. To feel spirit. God. Love.
And that is priceless.
We are all so more connected than we know, than we can fathom, than we can even describe. We are all so much more beautiful than we know.
And love is so beautiful, and when it is felt, and seen, and heard.
How beautiful, how amazing, how wonderful that is. Things can change for the better. That we can start to see each other as ourselves, one soul at at time.
And even if you haven't practiced, or remembered to bring your music book, you are still welcome to sing in God's choir.
Love is always welcome.
Everyone is always welcome.
Always.
Just bring your voice, and an open heart.
And magic can happen, anywhere you are.
And you'll be glad you sang.
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My mom found this song today, and I thought it was beautiful.
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