God's Size

 

Hey, 

I'm just stopping for a moment. How strange life is. I feel life has gifted me with some space to pause, and reflect.  Yesterday, evening, I let the goats out to pasture, and while I worked in my garden, I let them graze out in the field, so I could keep an eye on them. After weeding, I climbed onto the roof of the chicken coup so I could watch them better, and also, to get a better view of the sky, and the sunset. It was so beautiful and peaceful. Sometimes I feel the breeze comes up, on purpose, and hugs and soothes, me, and gifts me a word. As I feel myself in nature, and see the divine all around.

                    And later that night I scribbled this down.

  

  God’s Size. 

God.

I sometimes wonder if I make you small. By wanting you to appear to me, at all.

I sometimes wonder at your scope. Are you bigger, than my biggest hope?

I often times wonder why you don’t appear.

Why I can’t see you, but can feel you so near.

I often times wonder, if you’d show your face.

But then you show me, grace upon grace.

Then in those moments, when life takes something way.

Something signals, to always look up, and pause.

To give who I thought I was, away. 

To give away how I think life should go.

To let God be bigger.

And follow how love chooses to grow.

To stop searching, and to surrender.

To let go of keeping what was not mine.

To give it all to you, and surrender, again. Time, after time.

And when I wonder where you are, I see a bird, a cloud, a star.

And in those moments, I understand.

I see your face, reflected in all creations hand.

I see you, written in the fabric of grace.

In all the forms appearing, and then vanishing into space.

The green of a tree, your skin glows.

In the sunsets, golden shows.

I feel you in the breeze.

I see your light shining in the morning dew.

 I see your softness in the silhouettes against the evening sky.

And there you are again, appearing in the folds of a flower, and the wings of a bee, I see you in the rain’s soft shower, in storms that pass by.

I see you in the seasons, and woven in, all the stories, of every human.

I realize why I can’t make you small, or limit your scope. Or fit you into my small human understanding, your size is much bigger than my own view, you are the beautiful note.

 For your love is immeasurable, and fits into every nook and cranny, every space.

So you, appear before me, showing me endless love.

I can’t make you small by fitting you into just a small shell.

Or just draw your love from only one well.

For I realize why, you are invisible to me.

To show me, the size of eternity.

And there is no place where your heart is not.

For in you all things live, and grow.

You fly above, a hawk a crane a dove, a crow.

You are the ocean, the wave, the fish.

Your love.

You are in my fingers, in my words, and thoughts, and heart.

I see your face within all the places, in all the parts.

You are here, beside me.

The writing on the screen.

The glow of the light, of my eyes, in the darkness, of the evening.

You are supporting me, the ground beneath my feet.

My heart knows this is the truth.

And you are the food I eat.

The clouds that glow, and shine.

I see you and my heart is full so much of the time.

I see how beautiful you are, a master of your craft.

Hiding so boldly, you are the bread, the grain, the wind that sweeps the chaff.

You, who are so present, so here with us all. You never left a moment, no, not even once. You answer every call.

You are here within the pages, of time, and space, and light.  

Here the trees, and in my garden, too, the beets, and carrots, and tomatoes, this is all you.

Here within my beating heart, here in my lungs, I breath you in.

And then I write you out.

Here, within.

And here without.

Manifesting your story.

Beautiful light.

All creation sings, and sighs, and sounds, and sings of your glory.

Here you are in laughter, and also in my tears. Such beauty appearing, you have been with me all my years.

You are always showing, who you are and more. A mirror for your goodness, glows within the stars. Here within the ocean, within the lakes, and brooks. The water shows how gentle, how soft, and quenching and good.

On my skin, your sun kisses my face, and I feel you in the day.

And all the while, I know you are writing this entire play.

You exist within this now.

And when I look, and cannot find, a marker to your face.

I’ll wait and watch, and know your name.

And see the space as grace.

The great I Am.

You are always the same.

And I will love your space, or form. You are always growing, expanding, and showing me more.

Pausing, here, as I watch the sky.

 God, I see you open your eyes.

Here you appear in faces, and hands, beautiful mirrors, of your plans.

Here you go in and out.

Like the tide, or seasons, music, soft, or loud.

And here I hear you, a whisper on the wind.

A note of music.

A silent hymn.

Here you are within loss, or gain.

You come, and go, and always stay the same.

And while I look, and know your grace.

I open my arms wide, and love all of you.

Here.

In my heart.

My sacred space.