Gratitude

 

This is a beautiful painting my mom is working on for a lady. One of my gratitude moments with my mom, recently, was when I was cooking in the kitchen listening to music, while she was painting, when all of a sudden my mom started crying. I asked her what was wrong. And she said, "It's sad when you fall in love with the person in the painting."  It really touched me. And I think my mom is painting, herself. Her own truth.  One we might not always see . But the one, that is smiling, and wise. And there. And knowing. And beautiful. That's the mom I love. The mom who has had so many children, and taken care of them as best she knew how.  And loved them the best way she knew how. And I am grateful for her.

                          And I am grateful for this space.

Here.

I just wanted to pause. And paint a picture here too...

And feel myself, here, in this space with you.

These past week, moths years, have been something…haven't they?

Something….

Really something.

It seems a strange and curious and wonderful thing. This life.

And the more you feel, and see it, the more it seems to show itself to you.

And the more you feel.

A gift.

To feel. So much.

A gift, one that sometimes is hard to understand, and hold.

Yet it still is a gift.

And I pause here to say it.

My gratitude.

For life.

This light.

To be able to feel so much.

To feel what it is like to be alive.

To feel it all.

To know what it is like to feel love. Real and tangible.

A gift. So beautiful.

To see, and love.

So amazing.

                To look at the gemstone of humanity. The facets, the cuts in it that hit the light just right so light is reflected in every direction, and be amazed by it.

How incredible this life is.

And so, I say, with all humility. I’m grateful for the facets God has made in me. All the cuts, and pieces he’s shaved off, so light could reflect better.

                                I’m grateful for the story and stories God has woven in and through me, and ever so grateful for the gift of being able to see some of the patterns, so beautiful. It’s hard to even describe.

To see enough, to know, how beautiful life, and how valuable each soul is.   

And if we knew, and could feel ourselves, and each other, and spirit, better, how transformed the world would be. How beautiful it would be, because we would shield each other, instead of shame. We would love, instead of fight. If we could feel our hearts echoed in another, we would choose peace. We would. I know we would!

 We would create peace, by our very presence, because God would be with us, in us, in such a loving place.

  How beautiful gratitude is. For it takes it all, and sees the beauty in ashes, and mold, in youth, and age, it knows, and is the wisest of all the virtues.  My sister, Bess, is always showing me things to be grateful for.  My mother has always had a delight in nature, and her love, of it, has always delighted me.  How Grateful I am for sisters, and mothers, and all they have taught me, of love covering another, of loving and love, and more loving.

How grateful I am for fathers, and brothers. Though I feel most they have taught me from afar, the nowness, and real, isness of the Father of all, that knows no distance, and is always present. That God’s presence, provision, protection, truth, light, and love echoes in neighbors, and friends, and of an amazing love that goes beyond space or time, still finds a way, in every condition. A steady hand always holding me. Always. 

And how grateful I am for that.

            That God is good. That the designer is Good.

          That inside, we too are good.  That love is good.

              That you are, oh so good.

 And that without contrast, of being lost, we wouldn’t understand, how beautiful it is to be found. To come home.

     To know fracture, you know true healing.

To know these things, you learn how beautiful a teacher is God.

               Ever present, running the whole show.

  How grateful I am for a compassionate creator, seeing how unconscious I have been most of my life. And yet, still spirit calls, always waiting, patiently for me to find the way.

                                Life, is so magical, and so beautiful, that words are just pointers to those places unseen to the eye, to heart places, God spaces.

                                And how beautiful a thankful heart, one that is sincere, and seasoned with the knowing that comes from compassion, empathy, experience, and dropping of ones own separateness, to know another.

I thank God for the story.

    For all the characters.

 For the ups, and downs.

For the clues along the way.

I thank God for the music, here, and always.

     That plays in the background and whispers hope in all the dark places.

         For helping to hold me through the fear, and loving me still.

 I thank God for spirit, the connecting love, that loves us all, each one, so beautifully, so personally, so unconditionally.             

 I thank God for all those he has set on my path.

 The helpers that help. And show me, and reveal that no need goes unnoticed. No. Not one.

 I am grateful for tears, and sorrow, two of the most precious gems of the heart, that keeps washing it open, keeps the light always flowing in, keeps me in remembrance of my soul, and home.

Grateful for the teachers of this earth, who show us the light and darkness, and reveal to ourselves revelations to learn from. How to love ourselves. Our real selves.

   Grateful for fathers, and mothers, and family, and brothers, and sisters, and lovers. For in them all we find reflections, and knowings, and wisdom, and love. Grateful, though I haven’t always seen it, the grace and coverings each one of them has been in my life, exactly when I needed it.

  Grateful guidance, and presences, and courage, and protection, and light to shine the way.

 Grateful for compassion, and companions, of all sorts.

 Grateful for the mystery, and the revealing. For in each soul, we find something beautiful, each story God has woven into us, so beautifully. If we knew it completely, we probably wouldn’t doubt, ever. Yet, we get to see it unfold, light, by light, and that is also so beautiful.

I am grateful for my soul sisters and sister and the light they bring into my life everyday. For reflections of grace too great for me to write down. 

I am grateful for a God of resurrection, with resurrection power.  To renew, and renew, and constantly revive me, and my heart, and soul, over, and over again. To see God revive so many things, my eyesight, my spirit, my heart, my mind, my music.

And to see it reflected in the world, and souls wake up even if it's just for a moment, is beautiful beyond words. 

I am Grateful for all the facets of life, and birth, and death, and renewal, for mess-ups, and mistakes, and for success, and failure. For in them all there is gems light to be found, and excavated.

 I am Grateful for the painting of my life, God has painted. For in it, I see, the interweaving of the divine. In it I see, the light, and color, and contrast, that every color, and every teardrop, and every rainbow, and everyone painted into it, are all created, made, painted by the master painter. All a masterpiece. All interconnected---a song,  a love story, woven, so perfectly.

 That the only hiccup comes when I forget.

 I am grateful for The Ah, So ness of this painting. That each color was painted with intention. And designed, orchestrated, and I…a facet in this painting. Thank God to know, and feel connected to the hand of the painter, for a moment, and then to all whole painting.  

  This.

      To feel ones heart.

    To feel love. And the truth of it.

 To feel the reflection of God’s love, that it changes how you see yourself, and those around you.  That moment by moment, you see spirit, the way, the truth, the light, the love, molding the story before your eyes, bringing laughter, and unity to places you never thought possible. Bringing music to broken hearts, and love to loveless places. Healing to hurts, hope to the hopeless, softness to the hard places, mending to the broken places, light to the darkness, flavor and seasoning enlivening places, warmth to the cold places, coolness to the too hot places, peace to the peace-less places, dreams to the dreamless, vision, to the vision-less, freedom to those captive, renewal, and redemption to all the parts in need of redeeming, seeing to the unseen souls, looking to those who hadn’t been looked at. Knowing to the unknown. Color, to the colorless. Hearing to those deaf. Eyes with those who had no seeing. Rhythm, and song, and unity to a world, in world that had forgotten its soul song, is now remembering how to dance.

One note at a time.

                 And so, I say, a humble thank you.

              For I know enough to know, that whether seen, or unseen.

     Love, does not have only one container. It lives in temples that welcome it. And its power reaches beyond anything our human minds can comprehend. It is the stuff and fabric of creation. It doesn’t have walls, nor is something you can control. You allow it. And it creates you. The best you. And the best me. And the best world. Because that is what love is. The best of the best of the best. The light, of the light, of the light.

The knowing, of the knowing, and knowing, on into forever.

And we, who have tasted this knowing, this divine flow, this connection to the infinite, know that God is Good.

That love is the story.

And behind the paint.

Behind the music.

Within the folds of life itself.

God has signed his signature on every piece of work.

And I sign my name, here, too. With love. With a little gratitude mark, pointing as best I can, to best and most beautiful places seen, and unseen.

The heart.

The palace of God. That keeps its doors always open for me. Always there is someone to light the way there, always an angel in disguise keeping me in love with life, with God.                                                          

May its doors always welcome us in.                                       

     That is the place I am most grateful for.