I'm sitting here with Sophie, I fed her a pile of millet, and she's having fun exploring my desk, thinking about perching on my speakers. Oh, now she's on my speakers. I think she likes the vibration of the music coming out of the speakers.
Now she's close to the screen, and thinking about eating my words...never mind, she just wants to stare at me, and foof out her feathers while listening to the music.
She likes to comb the carpet in my house for goodies. The other day, she found a long pin, and was wielding that. I quickly shot across the room and took it from her before she could try and eat it.
I think she can taste words, because if we say something she likes, she smacks her beak like she's chewing something yummy.
She also does this when listening to a good song.
Edible music.
She knows how to play koto, now. The other day, she flew into the living room, and had fun plucking the strings, so we played together. I even have a video of her music skills, I might post. Later...
Anyhow. I'm expecting my sister to burst through my door, to tell me the ice is good. Then this post will be postponed, until another day, as the ice and the night will be beautiful, I think.
We've had a lot of cold, which is has been hard on animals, and people, but perfect for ice. Though today was warmer, so when I got onto the rink I decided to get right back off, because I didn't want my skates to cut up the ice, as I just bucketed water onto it. So tonight we'll skate, with a floodlight, and some music....
(This post just got postponed) I had to check. And the ice was good.
So this is tomorrow.
But today.
Sunday evening now---19th of Feb.
I stopped mid-post to do what I was writing about. The night was beautiful. The ice was firm, like polished glass, smooth and hard, the best texture you can ask for in ice. We didn't have to work hard at all to glide across the rink. All we had to do was bend and sway the way we wanted to go, and we were taken along like the ice was skating us.
The stars were beautiful, and Bess and I enjoyed it so very much.
Bess and I do our best philosophizing outside, under the stars, or under the sun. Here the words, good, or bad, just float out of our mouths, without much heaviness, or form, they are like feathers, or milkweed-fluff, they just float out, and into nature, and dissolve. They don't go into someone's body to accumulate, and get recirculated. Nature turns everything you have into something usable. Seen for a moment, like a bird that lands, and then flies away.
This morning, we also hopped onto the ice, and got the best of both worlds as the sun was so hot today, and the ice was still a great texture. We skated until it became slushy. Bessie can do some pretty nifty spins. She gets in her, what she calls her, "lumberjack suit"---this big ole' brown, holey, zip-up work suit, she wears to keep warm when she's outside running her saw, and hammering.
She's dawned it to keep warm, on the ice.
It's so funny to see such a feminine warrior women zipping around the ice with her wild hair flapping, and in such a bulky attire. Doing ice-skate spins that have me clapping. I'm lucky if I can spin once, and not get too dizzy. I can only appreciate my sister's ability to spin.
Though, the other day, she had me laughing because she'd just been on our treadmill in shorts. Then she got too hot in her lumberjack suit, and decided to skate in what she had on underneath.
Shorts.
Cold.
Freezing shorts.
But she enjoyed it. Zipping round, going from lumberjack, to figure skater ice queen.
The ice lasted for about an hour before we had to get off. Today was so warm, I decided to dig around in my garden. I wanted to get as much sunshine as I could, as you never know if the sun is going to be hidden by clouds or smog.
The earth felt like it was starting to thaw, so I kicked off my shoes, and socks, and felt the moist ground beneath my feet. It felt soo good! I got shovel, dug around, and racked a big pile of weeds.
The funny thing was, I hadn't raked long, and kicked off my shoes, when a mini twister windy-burst came out of nowhere, and swirled right above me.
Wispy, leaves, and tumbleweeds spun above me. I watched a bunch of leaves swirl, and twist, and glide in the air. The little tumbleweeds were funny, and swirled, and bounced putting on a show, just for me.
It seems everyone is showing off their spins to me.
Then as soon it had come, it went.
The twirl-wind dumped some leaves on the rink, so I had to pick them off one by one, as each leaf is so warm it melts through the ice, like a hot coal.
It was such a delicious temperature, I took a mini break, and dawned a tank top, and invited my mom to come and sit out in the sun while I burned the pile weeds.
It was funny because I wasn't sure the weeds would catch fire, but the moment the flame hit the weeds, they instantly ignited, and started crackling. I turned my back for just a moment, because I didn't expect damp weeds to burn so quickly. The flames grew! I was worried that it might go where it shouldn't. So I got a pail water and watched it, and slowly fed it more weeds so it stayed put.
I thought my mom would enjoy tossing a few weeds into the fire. She came out just as my lovely pile of weeds--now-bio-char, was smoking away.
I placed my mom's walker-chair in the sun, and then as soon as she sat down, the smoke followed her.
Or me.
I don't know.
Ether way, I moved her chair again.
Same thing happened.
I moved it again.
And still it followed. Mom howled, as she's slow of gait, and uses two canes to get around. She seemed quite disturbed that I led her into a pile of smoke. A cold wind picked up, and she was not impressed. "It's not very warm out there! I'm going inside! It's too smokey!"
The smoke was following our every move. It was so funny I couldn't help laughing.
I had gone in nearly a circle trying to find a spot that was safe.
My only solution was to dowse the smoke with the pail of water.
Problem solved.
I let out the chickens and so they could scratch around while I dug, and they entertained my mom, doing their chicken thing, scratching, and chickening.
Two roosters started fighting. One hen jumped on top of the chicken run, two other escaped the fence.
There was lots of drama, and I ran around catching escaped chickens.
I do think if I ever create an old people's center, I'd make sure they had some chickens to take care of. They are noisy, and always wiggly. And they could give the old people so much to do. And you could always go on an easter egg hunt.
I've feel as if I've been with the four elements, and feel a little sunburned, wind burned, ice burned, honestly. My lips have that dehydrated outdoor feeling, where you keep licking them.
(Okay, this is another day. Tuesday)
The weather is
horrid. It feels as if I'm getting a migraine...
My ice rink is melted, and it's also windy, and so cold. How is my ice melted?!
Sophie just landed on my head. Okay... Birds are busy. Now she's picking at my scalp. Thank you...I just washed my hair, so I don't think she'll find anything tasty...at least I hope not. You never know.
I keep stopping and starting this post, and feel so distracted.
By the time I actually post this, this will be in the past...again!!
So last week---actually, last Sunday the 12th (not his one). My mom wanted me to run to my neighbors to give them a valentine, and some samples of her favorite healthy protein shake powders---they just found out that he has pancreatic cancer. I had been busy that day, and put off running it to them earlier in the day. My sister, and I decided to run it by in the evening, a little after six. I was loading up the truck, when I was walking back into the house, and saw the most bizarre thing above my house.
It looked like a line of Christmas lights a little ways above my roof, just kind of floating there.
I stared it, confused, wondering what I was seeing. My brain kept telling me I was seeing Christmas lights.
Then the line of lights began to move...slowly.
I called out to anybody in the house to come and see.
My mom can't move fast, so she didn't see it.
But two of my siblings did before it faded. I grabbed my camera. But it disappeared before I could snap a photo.
Our conclusion was that we had just seen, starlink.
A long line of satellites that have been launched.
I was baffled, that I had never seen this before. I go outside at night quite often, and have never, ever seen this. It was so odd. And I hadn't looked into it too much before.
I did some research and found that it's quite a big deal. And annoying astronomers---for good reason. It feels a little ominous, like drawing on the sun, or dirtying up a already beautiful, clear window with fingerprints.
I guess they are supposed to provide internet to anybody, anywhere. And they have quite a lot more satellites they want to launch. Their satellites communicate with towers on earth.
I was curious, and found a place online that tells you when you will be able to see it next, and about what time. I tried to see it, and did not. So far, the skies were not ideal. I haven't seen them since. I guess, I'll just say, if I see it, it's because I happened to be looking up at the right time.
But who knows.
It got me to thinking about satellites, and the web of things that are interconnected.
Maybe we are
supposed to be the receivers, and transceivers of the divine symphony that has
been playing the background this entire time. We just haven't looked up, to see it. Because we weren't paying attention.
Maybe, someday, everything will connect, appearing above our houses, like a string of glowing lights.
There for us to see.
Like satellites, that have a broader picture, pinging us (little towers on the ground) giving us a better connection to what's going on. Because most of the time, we are all just so clueless, so lost...
The more I look, the more messages I feel like find me.
The more life seems like some beautiful dance, a story that is being written that is far more interesting than anything my previous self could conjure up.
The more I follow that invisible symphony, the more the story unfolds.
The more I see, the more I realize we are all dancing perfectly, in our imperfection.
We are all satellites, receiving, and giving stories, and wisdom, truth, light, or the opposite. Depending on our strength and signal, and how much bandwidth we have, and what we are connecting to.
Some of us have a connection anywhere, others, only a small range. Some of us have many bars, and can tune into the cosmic music at any time.
Other times, our signal gets jammed.
Yet, with my feet on the ground, the sun shining down, I feel much more online.
The stale indoor air, and hungry egos bumping around in the world are reaching a fever pitch. I can feel it.
I feel the hunger of the people in the cars as they pass by, searching for that connection. Everyone is feeling their own vibe more, their offline-ness, or their online-ness. It's a frequency of truth that seems to be pouring in, making it harder for everyone to piggyback off someone else's wifi, especially if they don't share the same password connection. So they spin faster, searching...getting, wanting, perusing.
And I wonder...how to be a finger pointing at the moon without people thinking its the finger their wanting.
How to be a wild card in the deck, that can play any part, but have no attachment to any of the costumes?
How to be usable to spirit, pliable, like water, flowing into the places where solid elements could not go?
To say, "Ah, So," to whatever life brings.
To see the chaos that nearly every person is in, and know that beyond that chaos, is a stillness within, somewhere.
To look at people, like trees, like Ram, das said.
To let them be whatever shape they want. And not need anything to change for you to feel at home in your self.
We don't know enough to say if what is happening is good, or bad.
We can't see far ahead enough to know why of it all.
Maybe, if we lived believing that every bruise, and every person, and every event, was perfect, because it was what was happening---we'd embrace the moments, and let them unfold, with grace, and gratitude.
The more we can have that clear connection to the unlimited bandwidth the more we are able to give. The more unlimited and broad your rage, the farther your heart can gather souls into resonance with the cosmic blueprint that connects us all to that which has no beginning or end.
Starlinked.
Well, It's now Saturday. A week since I started this post.
I had such a migraine last-night, and did not sleep very well. I got up and put ice behind my head, and when I did fall asleep, I woke up and my neck was like a frozen beef patty. And I honestly just feel heavy of spirit, and body today. I feel like a gray, turd bucket.
My connection feels....as gray as the clouds today. On, then off.
I think we should banish headaches! They are sometimes so hideous.
I have compassion for everyone in the world who may feel offline, and cloudy, and blizzardy, and heavy right now.
I feel hazy. The words keep getting lodged in my craw, like pebbles. I think, maybe if I get some sleep, I won't feel quite as gray.
There's a quote that says, "I count not the days but the unclouded ones." I think it's an old saying from a sundial.
Goals in life. To be like a sundial. And count not the days that are clouded. Nor headache days.
In-between my previous ramblings, we had an epic snowstorm, and now my ice rink is obliterated! You would have never guessed that a few days before, I was walking around barefoot, in a tanktop. These are just a couple videos I made of the snow.
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| I went for a walk to the end of my field, and was delighted by the snow, and shadows. The snowdrifts were quite deep. |
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| The canal we swim in during the summer is now full of 5ft of snow! |
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