Window

 

Dear blog,

 

I have a little window to write.

And what to say?

Mostly.

Hi.

Thank you for being such a great audience. For reading my words, for watching, and listening to the music.

I have been lucky in my life, blessed.

Lucky in ways I haven’t always seen, or appreciated.

But I am seeing it better, appreciating it. The beauty in the simple places of my life.

For all the sorrows, there has been a knowing, and love, a thread.

Sunlight.

I have felt much like a glitch in the system, myself, and my sister, so much of the time. Not really part of many things, but asked to be, through some strange loophole.

Yet because of this, it seems we’ve been able to traverse through many places, vibrationally.

To cross many bridges. And thus love ourselves and each other in ways that wouldn’t be possible in most conventional lives.

Where Bess and I, see in retrospect, all the barriers, and the difficulties were, Grace.

All the boarders that have been so tight.

All the places that shut us out.

All the times I wished to say a thing. But let the silence speak.

To know grace, working silently always in the background of my life.

Showing me the beauty of it all.

To know that those things I thought quite hard, are still showing me paths, uncharted.

Leading me to know a place that has been hidden from most.

So, I see, and thank those Rocks, and hills, and all those very hard roads, for leading me back to myself.

For had I gotten what I thought I wanted, I would have never seen the view that had been waiting for me my whole life.

Here. And now.

The view.

God in all his and her forms, revealing the thread of life to me. The beautiful softening of hearts, when one is allowed to show up as they are.

How beautiful my little patch of earth is.

The autumn colors.

Our little alfalfa field.

The beautiful moments of seeing my sister and I have, as we share music with the young and old, and for a moment, there isn’t a separate I.

But just one voice, one knowing. And those bubbles of love, are so beautiful.

And the full moments make the spaces, all the more sacred.

The silence, and those moments where I can just be with my own heart, and feel it.

The moments of my feet on the ground.

The moments I have shared here with you.

The moments, unspeakable, the deep sorrow of knowing that you have loved, and the form has gone, yet the love remains. The knowing is still there.

To know even as forms fight, and rage, and cannot see yet, that they are still showing you something, and your loving essence is untouchable.

And so all these things, our teachers, here to show us, that love still flows, finds cracks, and corners, and places to sing, places that are ready for water.

And so, I say.

Thank you to life.

To the Great mother, and father of us all.

Trusting that until I graduate, I am student.

Trusting that there is a higher seeing that orchestrates miracles, that leads you to the paths that were meant for you.

And everyday the curriculum shows me, me.

Shows me, as I accept it---the author.

The writer.

The divinity in this script, that had just been waiting for me to allow it to show me its wonders, to show me it’s miracles in the seemingly ordinary things.

And so, I am a window. Seeing the light come through, and wondering at it all.

 

I take it in, and allow life.

As it shows up.

Showing me more than it would have, had I tried to control it.