Topaz and cotton wood fluff

 

The best part about mother's day.

My sister pointed out the floating clouds of cotton that were just floating off the cottonwood trees.

I got on my bike to where she directed, and it was magic.

So beautiful.

 

My sister came and found me, and after we had appreciated the magic of it, we went and got our mom, in her wheelchair, and were able to share it with her too.

While I was manning mom's wheelchair, Bess jumped into the canal, howling out in cold.

My mom was real tired, and not feeling well, so I took her home, and then I went to the back of our field, and jumped to the canal.

That was so refreshing. I felt very much a wake up of my soul.

And today, I jumped in, around 5:00 P.M.

It was cold.

Super cold.

The clouds were beautiful.

The green everywhere is so alive. So heavily.

And the water was invigorating.

It felt so good.

So renewing.

Baptizing to all the tired bits of my body, mind and soul.

I feel there is a newness created when one plunges into the icy water, a washing of old things away. Though it takes a bit of courage, as changing states is hard to do sometimes.

I feel it making me feel more me.

And I feel like the cold plunge will give me courage, and clarity to plunge back into writing. For I've felt so heavy, and tired, and at a standstill, unable to post anything. After our Blue notes program, and the program at the old folks center, and so much energy being poured out to friends and family, I've just been so tired.

A energy that has been quite weighty one.

A pause.

Yet...

Here I am.

And here you are.

Splash.

I want to write about everything all at once...but maybe I'll try and write in increments, so I'm not overwhelming myself.  And find the best bits, and write those.

I feel at the cusp of something beautiful. There is light, and green, and beautiful energy flowing all around us, waiting for us to welcome it in.

And with this beautiful sunlight energy, I feel it clearing that which needs clearing, and cleans that which needs cleaning, and renews, that which needs renewing.

 An soul aurora, the colors lighting up our sky.

So much energy pouring in.

So much to see.

Prior to My koto teacher coming down, Bess and I were handling a lot of different music things for our Blue notes concert.

I had a moment of nearly not being able to do what I'd been practicing for months, and then...panic attack, and yet...

Thankfully.

There are angels. Stopping me from stopping myself.

Phew.

Shirley believed in me, and that gave me courage to keep playing koto.

 And so, after many preparations getting ready for our guests.

Shirley, Bob, and Brian arrived.

Something I really appreciated about them, is that they felt like family. Someone I knew. With a royal energy. Crown energy. Very service oriented. Very giving, and kind.

Shirley is like a music missionary, as she is always traveling around, with her kotos, to schools, and teaching everywhere she goes. It is quite beautiful, actually. A giving energy that I would like to emulate.  

And our little living room was very living, because three kotos got set up in there, and after exchanging gifts, and hellos, we played together for the very first time, in the two years I've been taking lessons.

 

I was afraid. I'd been practicing, but playing with two other people was something I was unsure of.

 

Shirley's husband, Bob, sat there, smiling. And I felt really seen by him, he was shy, and kind, like a very beautiful father figure. Very encouraging.

 

After we set up our kotos, Shirley said she would play the top part with me, and her son, Brian would play the bottom part.

 

She asked me to start playing first, and then they both joined in.

And when we started, though I had to really focus, to keep up with their nimble fingers.

I felt a surge of energy, and though my playing was far from perfect. Shirley, like a good teacher, covered for my mistakes, and I felt much more at ease. And a sense of trust.

 

Because we were to perform that day, we had to keep going. So we started singing the sound of silence.

 

We invited Brian to sing, and he brought come beautiful clackers to go along with it, while Shirley played. And bob watched.

This was so beautiful, because the sound, the words, we all felt it.

 

This was a beautiful thing.

Then Shirley played amazing grace, and Bessie played on her violin, I, on my flute.

Then we sang a verse, then we played our instruments along with Shirley, and then we sang another verse.

 

That was also beautiful

 

Then Shirley, and Brian, played their kotos, and Bessie played together on her violin. (the orange blossom special) While I ran clackers, and train whistles. I invited bob to try blowing on the train whistle. He gave it a good try, and I felt he was a very good sport.

 

The rest of the time. We had to hurry. So we fed them all some food, though Shirley only snatched a bite. She wanted to dress us authentically in kimonos that my Journalism teacher had given to us a year a go---from her trip to Japan.  So we turned our living room, into a dressing room, because it was the biggest room available in our house.

 While she was dressing Bessie. I took Bob, and Brian out to meet the puppies, and goats, and chickens. They were good sports, braving our hungry goats, and excited puppies, and poopy chickens. I had them gather eggs, and they even tasted some green onions and mint from my greenhouse. By the time we had done all that, Shirley was ready for me. So Bessie entertained Bob and Brian with some musical instruments she'd made, and Shirley dressed me. That was an interesting experience. She dressed me all the way.

So I had to be pretty much naked. And that was interesting.... Being very naked for my teacher. A May pole---She wrapped me, boobs and all, round and round with many different pieces of cloth, and lots of knots, Very tight knots. It was very squeezy. Shirley was very focused on dressing me authentically. She had purple eyeliner around her eyes, and I watched her work, and felt a kind of awe and appreciation.

 

I don't think anyone has ever dressed me. Not like this. Before. And I felt, a sense of being valuable. Which was, I felt, a gift. Also, an interesting thing was, it was so tight, and un-comfy, I think it distracted me enough from being super afraid.

 

The kimono she dressed me in, a rich pinkish color, with this little wagon with wheels on it. Though it was very tight, with all the knots, I felt beautiful in it. She bought flowers and put them in the funny bow behind me.

 

And then some for my hair.

 

After she dressed me.

I went and did my hair.

 

While she dressed herself, in a kimono, that had been given to her, along with the kotos last played at Topaz camp during WWII 1944, by Tama Nakata Nakamoto.

 

Brian, Shirley, Muramoto, Stephanie, And Bessie far right. Special thank you to Robert C Wong, for taking these beautiful pictures 

 

 

After we were all ready, we loaded everything up. My mom, Sarah, My sister Holly, came in a different car.

Bess and I went together.

And Shirley and her family when in their car.

When we got at the Topaz museum, we set up our kotos, and I guess most of the people from the Pilgrimage came an hour earlier, so the crowd was mostly friends, family, and the choir group I invited to sing with us for sound of silence. A reporter, and members from the community.

As I waited in my chair before we did music, I felt myself heat up in a strange way, and I felt very much, as if I had roots here. It was a present knowing.

Shirley set up a picture of Tama Nakata behind her, and told the audience about her kotos that were played at Topaz and kimono, by Tama, Nakata, that she was wearing the same one as Nakata. ( I guess her father forbade her from playing them after they got out of camp---so as to appear more American, which is very sad) And then we started off by playing okeshi Ningyo" (the Kokeshi Doll, by Chikushi Katsuko) on the kotos.

 

It was very challenging, and I wasn't perfect, but Shirley and her son covered for me, because they could play so well. And we made music together. And all together, we sounded good. My sister also covered for me, because she has a beautiful high voice, and when I had a harder time on some notes, she'd flip up, and cover my own imperfections of my voice.

It was beautiful because Bob was in the background taking pictures and filming it all. And I felt this calm, seeing energy, and he'd nod, and smile, and it was really soothing to me. As I also know from experience what it is like to be taking pictures, in the background.

So I appreciated someone there with a kind seeing, and it felt a completed seeing. Friends, and family from the audience felt seen, I think, as well.

I handed papers out with the words to Amazing grace, and sound of silence, and then we all sang sound of silence, while Shirley played. And it felt good. And I felt this beautiful bubble of love.

 

It was quite profound.

Then we all sang, and played amazing grace together. And it felt amazing, because we were all singing, and I don't know if anyone was not singing.

And it did feel amazing.

I felt like the museum seemed happy, and the people singing felt happy.

Then Brian played the bamboo flute, and Shirley performed a special number, that had been written by a blind koto player called, "Haru no Umi" (the Sea in Spring by Miyagi Michio). It was so beautiful. I do believe Shirley has professional recording of this somewhere on her youtube channel.

After that, Bessie, and her violin student, Tess, (niece of my Journalism teacher) with down's syndrome, played, "Can't help falling in love) And I played along with my flute. Tess was really excited to perform in public, and so this was a special thing.

After that we ended the program with the orange blossom special. We handed out shakers, and clackers, and everyone got to make music with us.

 

Then Shirley said if anyone wanted to stay, she would play the Star spangled banner, as she was going to play for us on Saturday for our music program, and then Friday, May 17, 2024 at the SF Giants game for Japanese Heritage Night.

It was all a beautiful program, and I felt a beautiful energy, despite my own imperfections.

Bess thought that everyone liked it so much they didn't want to go home. 

Bess and I had to go right after, to a Blue notes rehearsal, so Shirley, Bob and Brian had to get supper without us. It was very long day. After rehearsal, we also had to decorate the stage---though we had to redo it, anyway, on Saturday, because everything got moved.

            But overall, it was a beautiful day. 

            Challenging in many ways. 

            One worth writing about.

            A refining day.

            A Topaz day. 

            One I'll remember.