To allow

                   This is been a very roller-coaster couple weeks. Very difficult. And I want to write more, but I think I need more clarity, as I feel like I'm going through some purifying fire. And trying to navigate but it's been difficult. I wrote this a while ago. And I write it to teach myself, as I feel as if I need to learn how to better allow myself. And also forgive myself when I forget to allow, or when I don't allow. And to allow that.

            I pray for better wisdom. To balance the water energy, grace, with the power energy of fire. So they are one within me. Not pushing, not shoving. Just this beautiful unity. 

To Allow

 

We are all beautiful, unlimited expansive beings.

But with very narrow view, with little eyes for seeing, so much goes missed. There is so much we cannot comprehend. We are so close to life, we can't see that we are life itself.

That life is happening all the time.

And by pushing against it, we make ourselves small, and never unfold.

We can't see how our actions affect the world, and the people around us.

We don't know how powerful we are.

We don't know the chain reaction we set into motion by the very act of being alive---having our heart beat.

How can we know what is good or bad? In the pain of the now, its easy to shove life away, and judge it.

But pain is also apart of life.

Death too.

Maybe we can only tap into our immortal natures, by not blocking any life at all no matter what mask it wears.

How can you know that the very worst thing that happened to you, isn't exactly what you, and the world needed at that time?

All we can do is allow, and trust.

So, I say, seeing the world in the chaos it is in. I'm going to try something different than controlling everything, and judging it. I'm giving my judgment away.

I'm allowing what is to be.

I'm allowing the fact that alone, I may not see.

I'm allowing life.

I'm allowing God to work.

I'll be the one, the tiny spark.

I've already tried my way, and found, it's way too hard, and I want to let my life unfold, I want to be empty. I want to let life sing its sound.

I no longer want to tell life how it should be.

I want to say thank you to life, even as it hands me something I may not want.

I want to be as allowing as a tree.

I want to allow life to flow in and out.

I want to know God, and emulate spirit, even if it means that I look invisible, distant, without merit.

Of all the things of life, one of the hardest things is allow. To let things go, and perhaps unravel. To let some things fall, and let the wind scatter.

To know that who and what we are is beyond anything we can do, be or experience here, and now.

To allow your heart to be so open that all of experience is contained inside it.

To allow your heart to break.

To allow it to be whole.

To allow yourself to feel every facet of being empty and full.

To allow every dialect, with love, and respect.

To be a open vessel, like a mirror, to reflect.

To allow all the reflections of life, without calling out error.

To allow yourself to be every player on the board.

To allow every emotion, and every motion.

To know that what exists in you, exists in everyone one else too.

To allow your self to know.

To allow yourself to not know.

To allow yourself to be humble.

To allow yourself to be stagnant or grow.

To allow yourself to be arrogant.

To allow yourself to be humble.

To allow yourself to be homeless.

To allow yourself to have many homes.

To allow yourself to be beautiful.

To allow yourself to be ugly.

To allow yourself to be kind.

To allow yourself to be mean.

To allow yourself to be smart.

To allow yourself to be stupid.

To allow yourself to take.

Allow yourself to give.

To allow yourself to be cranky.

To allow yourself to be in a good mood.

To allow yourself to be in a bad mood.

To allow yourself to sleep in.

To allow yourself to wake up early.

To allow yourself to wake up late.

Allow yourself to be lazy.

To allow yourself to work hard.

To allow yourself to overeat.

To allow yourself to fast.

To allow yourself to be afraid.

To allow yourself to be brave.

To allow yourself to cry.

To allow yourself to keep your tears inside.

To allow yourself to speak.

To allow yourself to be silent.

To allow yourself to be seen.

To allow yourself to be invisible.

To allow yourself to be wicked.

To allow yourself to be righteous.

To allow yourself to nail love to the cross.

To allow yourself to be the one on the cross.

To allow yourself to die.

To allow yourself to live.

To allow yourself to be greedy.

To allow yourself to give.

To allow yourself to talk too much, and too loud.

To allow yourself to talk too little, and too quietly.

To allow yourself to despair.

To allow yourself to rejoice.

To allow yourself to be poor.

To allow yourself to be rich.

To allow yourself to be wrong.

To allow yourself to be right.

To allow yourself to be lost.

To allow yourself to know right where you are.

To allow yourself to know what to do.

To allow yourself to be unable to decide.

To allow yourself to be overcome by grief.

To allow yourself to be overcome by love.

To allow yourself to be unjust.

To allow yourself to be just.

To allow yourself to lie.

To allow yourself to tell the truth.

To allow yourself to steal.

To allow yourself to be stolen from.

To allow yourself to be in pain.

To allow yourself to be numb.

To allow yourself to be forgotten.

To allow yourself to be remembered.

To allow yourself to run away.

To allow yourself to stay.

To allow yourself to hide.

To allow yourself to be found.

To allow yourself to be a ruler.

To allow yourself to be ruled.

To allow yourself to love.

To allow yourself to be hated.

To allow yourself to be misunderstood.

To allow yourself to be the one who misunderstands.

To allow yourself to eat.

To allow yourself to be eaten.

To allow yourself to be messy and dirty.

To allow yourself to be tidy, and clean.

To allow yourself to be stuck.

To allow yourself to flow.

To allow yourself to be addicted.

To allow yourself to be free from addiction.

To allow yourself to do the right thing.

To allow yourself not to do the right thing.

To allow yourself to walk away.

To allow yourself to stand where you are.

To allow yourself to run.

To allow yourself to walk.

To allow yourself to be sick.

To allow yourself to be healed.

To allow yourself to be a healer.

To allow yourself to not heal.

To allow yourself to fall.

To allow yourself to pass by the fallen.

To allow yourself to pick up the fallen.

To allow sorrow.

To allow the one who denies sorrow.

To allow yourself to be judged as crazy.

To allow yourself to sane.

To allow yourself to believe a lie.

To allow yourself to believe the truth.

To allow yourself to fight.

To allow yourself to not fight.

To allow yourself to give in.

To allow yourself not to give in.

To allow yourself to swear.

To allow yourself to not to swear.

To allow yourself to comfort.

To allow yourself to be the one comforted.

To allow yourself to be the one who caused pain.

To allow yourself to be the pain.

To allow yourself to pay too little.

To allow yourself to pay too much.

To allow yourself to give too little.

Allow yourself to give too much.

Allow yourself to be stagnate.

Allow yourself to be always flowing.

To allow yourself to hate.

To allow yourself to be the one hated.

To allow yourself to kill.

To allow yourself to be the one killed.

To allow yourself to hurt.

To allow yourself being the one hurt.

To allow yourself to be empty.

To allow yourself to be crowded.

To allow yourself to be alone.

To allow yourself to be not alone.

To allow yourself to be lonely.

To allow yourself not be lonely.

To allow yourself to sing.

To allow yourself not to sing.

To allow yourself to dance.

To allow yourself not to dance.

To allow yourself to be gentle.

To allow yourself to be aggressive.

To allow yourself to know what to say.

To allow yourself to not know what to say.

To allow yourself to be the jailer.

To allow yourself to be the one in jail.

To allow yourself to be the jail.

To allow yourself to be free.

To allow yourself not to be free.

To allow yourself to feel shame.

To allow yourself to feel proud.

To allow yourself to weep.

To allow yourself to laugh.

To allow yourself to feel stuck.

To allow yourself to feely fly.

To allow yourself to be heavy.

To allow yourself to be light.

To allow yourself to be old.

To allow yourself to be young.

To allow yourself to be in-between the both.

To allow yourself to be in the middle.

To allow yourself to be in the center.

To allow yourself to be on the bottom.

To allow yourself to be the grass.

To allow yourself to be the earth.

To allow yourself to be the flowers.

To allow yourself to be the one who picks the flowers.

To allow yourself to be the who picks the flowers and tosses them away.

To allow yourself to be the butterfly.

To allow yourself to be the caterpillar.

To allow yourself to be the cocoon.

To allow yourself to be the vegetable.

To allow yourself to be the bug that eats the vegetable.

To allow yourself to be the spider who spins the web who eats the bug.

To allow yourself to be the bird who eats the spider.

To allow yourself to be the cat who eats the bird.

To allow yourself to be the hawk that eats the bird.

To allow yourself to be the sky in which the hawk flies.

To allow yourself to be the sun that gives live to the earth and plants.

To allow yourself to be the seed.

To allow yourself to be the plant the grows.

To allow yourself to be the blossom, the bud.

To allow yourself to be picked and eaten.

The allow yourself to be the earth where the seed is planted.

To allow yourself to be the tide and the ocean. To allow yourself to be the boat that floats on the ocean, and the fish that swim.

To allow yourself to be the moon that sets the tides of the ocean.

To allow yourself to be the one who sees the moon.

To allow yourself to be the stars.

To allow yourself to be the clouds that block the stars, the moon, and the sun.

To allow yourself to be the rain.

To allow yourself to be rained on.

To allow yourself to be the dry earth.

To allow yourself to be a full pool.

To allow yourself to be a puddle.

To allow yourself to be the river.

To allow yourself to be vapor that rises.

To allow yourself to be the heat of the sun.

To allow yourself to be the ice of winter.

To allow yourself to be the frosted flower, the dead twig, the shivering skin.

To allow yourself to be the snow.

To allow yourself to be the wind.

The fire that burns.

The wood that is the one being burned.

The stove.

The one heated by the fire.

To allow yourself to be the kite using the wind.

To allow yourself to be the dandelion.

To allow yourself to be the poison that kills the dandelion.

To allow yourself to be the garden.

To be the gardener.

And the one grown in the garden.

To allow yourself to drink.

To allow yourself to be what is drunk.

To chew, and eat.

To allow yourself to be what is swallowed.

And the one swallowing.

To allow yourself to joke.

To allow yourself to be the one joked about.

To allow yourself to scorn.

To allow yourself to be the one scorned.

To allow yourself to be in tune.

To allow yourself to be off key.

To allow yourself to be the land.

To allow yourself to build a house on the land.

To allow yourself to rent the house.

To allow yourself to be the one who owns the house.

To allow to be the one turning yourself out of the house.

To allow yourself to be the one turned out.

To allow yourself to be the one who owns everything.

To allow yourself to own nothing.

To allow yourself to make war.

To allow yourself be the one war is waged on.

To allow yourself to defend yourself.

To allow yourself to be the one that does not fight.

To allow yourself to be religious.

To allow yourself to be unreligious.

To allow yourself to be spiritual.

To allow yourself to not know.

To allow yourself be married.

To allow yourself to be divorced.

To allow yourself to be a widow, widower.

To allow yourself to be single.

To allow yourself to be celibate.

To allow yourself to lust.

To allow yourself to be pure.

To allow yourself to have children.

To allow yourself not to have children.

To allow yourself to be childless.

To allow yourself to be a woman.

To allow yourself to be a man.

To allow yourself to not know who you are.

To allow yourself to know.

To allow yourself to care for everyone.

To allow yourself to care for no one.

To allow yourself to live by the road, in a box.

To allow yourself to live in a castle.

To allow yourself to be a beggar.

To allow yourself to be the one who passes by the beggar.

To allow yourself to heal.

To allow yourself to be the one healed.

To allow yourself to create.

To allow yourself to not create.

To allow yourself to be pliable.

To allow yourself to be rigid.

To allow yourself to forgive.

To allow yourself to be the one forgiven.

To allow yourself to not forgive.

To allow yourself to be forgotten.

To allow yourself to be remembered.

To allow yourself to be famous.

To allow yourself to be hidden.

To allow yourself to write.

To allow yourself to not write.

To allow yourself to be needy.

To allow yourself to be needed.

To allow yourself to not need.

To allow yourself to be broken.

To allow yourself to be glued back together.

To allow yourself to wander.

To allow yourself to say right where you are.

To allow your body to be healthy.

To allow it not to be healthy.

To allow yourself to be dirty.

To allow yourself to be clean.

To allow yourself to be fit.

To allow yourself to be fat.

To allow yourself to be wobbly.

To allow yourself to be firm.

To allow your words to flow.

To allow yourself to stop.

To allow yourself to go.

To allow yourself to sleep.

To allow yourself to stay awake.

To allow yourself to overwork.

To allow yourself to underwork.

To allow yourself to never take a day off.

To allow yourself to take every day off.

Allow yourself to be a good parent.

Allow yourself to be a good child.

Allow yourself to be a bad one.

Allow yourself to govern.

Allow yourself to be the governor.

To allow yourself to be peaceful.

To allow yourself to be in chaos.

To allow yourself to mandate.

To allow yourself the one being mandated to.

To allow yourself to make laws.

To allow yourself to break those laws.

To allow yourself to be a servant.

To allow yourself be a master.

To allow yourself to be a teacher.

To allow yourself being the one being taught.

To allow yourself to be overwhelmed, overcome, and undone.

To allow yourself to be the mountain, the lighthouse, and the thing people cling to when there isn't anywhere else to go.

To allow yourself not allow.

To allow yourself to have no boundaries.

To allow yourself to have boundaries.

To allow yourself to be terrified.

To allow yourself to be courageous.

To allow death.

To allow yourself to die.

To allow yourself to rise again.

To allow yourself to be in mourning.

To allow yourself to be the one mourned.

To allow yourself to be the one who doesn't cry.

To allow yourself to always cry.

To allow yourself be the grave.

To allow yourself to be the one in the coffin.

To allow yourself to be the earth that holds the coffin.

To allow yourself to be the ones above the earth.

To kneel at the headstone.

To be the one above, and the one below.

To be like the moon.

Full, half, partial, dark.

To allow yourself to be light.

To allow yourself to write music.

To allow yourself being the one who sings the music.

To allow yourself to be the one who hears the music.

To allow yourself to be the one who hates the music.

To allow yourself to dance to the music.

Or the one who sits still.

To allow yourself to be the one who tries to silence the music.

To allow yourself to be the one who can't hear it because you are deaf.

To allow yourself to be the one who turns up the volume.

To allow yourself to be one who turns it down.

Or turns it off.

To allow yourself to be the notes being played.

To allow yourself to be the paper on which it is written.

To allow yourself to be the salve, the wound, the doctor, the ointment, the knife.

To allow life.

And in allowing life You go beyond judgment.

Jury.

Judge, or judged. Just, or unjust.

You go into the space in which it is all contained.

Here is the paper of God.

Fixed, unchanging like the sun.

Beyond doing, or undone.

Dark and Light, and truth, and illusion all contained, entwined in the space love.

And in seeing everything, through every eye. From the tiniest spider,  to a wispy damsel fly. You begin to see through the eyes of divinity.

To be able to know what it feels like to be in shadow, or in full sun.

To feel through the eyes of a the prosperous king, or a soul who feels totally undone.

To allow life, in its many disguises.

Is to see that there is only life.

And death has no hold, because it does not exist. Only the illusion of decay.

Here in relinquishing judgment, you free the most lowly captive---yourself.

Here you start to understand that God is the ultimate recycler. God renews. Nothing goes to waste, nothing ever dies. No experience is ever wasted.

Here in your open space of allowing you allow God to burn the dross, and purify your seeing into gold. And you are left with ultimate empathy for every incarnation, every object, every plant, every living being. Here you begin to see the divine in every soul, playing out this symphony, the magnificent masterpiece, far beyond any master musician that any human ear has ever heard.

So in accepting the cards that you are dealt.

We bring space, redemption to a part of the universe that needs to be seen, heard, and felt, and loved.

Here we look, without casting a label. Letting it all be a dish in God's feast, his table.

Here through your eyes, a bit of light and understanding is brought into existence through you.

A mini spot, where there is joy, sadness, or delight, or despair without judgment of it.

Here, you are now singing in tune with the divine.

And you can now feel that your souls is beyond, space, or time.

Where love sees from the lowest point.

Spider, grasshopper, and our short sight.

Beyond our limited condition.

To the infinite vision.

Were we are pure souls, of love, without need for judgment, or revision.

And we can participate fully in the grand orchestra, having our heart beat in tune with the ultimate heartbeat.

This kind of seeing is how we revive, this is how we jumpstart the world's cosmic heart, one heart at time.

Where the rules and laws we all live by, change daily, and we too, as we, speak truth or lies.

And in holding onto our laws of matter, we bind, and are bound to in a karmic wheel, holding onto things, and shoulds, always kills.

So in allowing.

Here is love.

Seeing everyone as self.

Cracking our own stone tablets written by your ego, and ideas that someone else gave you.

So here, in being the space where it happens.

Here is unconditional love.

And when you go beyond law.

When you go beyond rules, to a higher rule.

The ones people write for you, and the ones that are written for you, are undone.

Into the thing in which you are.

The soul that contains the entire thing.

To go beyond law, beyond cause and effect, beyond, living and dying, beyond the wheel of time, birth, death, and rebirth.

See from every view.

The laws which kept you, are no longer. And the laws that bound you fall away.

Because you are beyond death, and judgment.

Because you are the space in which every note is being written.

You are not any of these things.

The music, harmonious, dissonant, beautiful, or ugly, you are beyond that.

You

That we have been every single one of these things.

And the only thing we can judge, when we judge is ourselves.

To redeem it all by the life we live, in allowing exactly what happens, knowing, that beyond doing, or done, the soul is untouched, pure, love.