Tuesday, April 13, 2021

A-poo-calypse---coffee enemas & my three year heavy metal detox





Medical disclaimer.

This blog and my posts are my own personal views about a broad range of subjects, from health, to fitness, to life, to cooking, ranging from vegetable, animal, to mineral. I am just a human writing about my life, and what has helped me. Anything you read is blog is just my personal book of revelations. Anything you may glean from my writing is for your entertainment only. Never take my word for it. Ever. Research, study, ask questions, consult with those who are experts in their field. I try to provide accurate information to the best of my knowledge. But I am totally human. I'm not a medical authority. I am learning life as I go. And writing about my personal views and experiences. Never rely on my content in place of professional advice, if you do, you do so at your own risk. I assume no liability for your use of this blog's content. So please note that if you or any other person has a medical condition, you should consult with your health care provider and professional medical treatment immediately. Always seek professional medical advice.



"In pursuit of knowledge,
every day something is added.
In the practice of the Tao,
every day something is dropped.
Less and less do you need to force things,
until finally you arrive at non-action.
When nothing is done,
nothing is left undone.

True mastery can be gained
by letting things go their own way.
It can't be gained by interfering."------Lao-Tzu 



            I've written this blog post so many times, in so many different ways.

Each time I came back to it, I would write more, or start another post altogether. My original post grew until it was over 40 pages long. Then I paired it down. But it felt muddy, like my words were diarrhea on the page. Gross, and splattered. Because deep down I knew I was afraid of saying what I really wanted to, in the way I wanted to.

            As I lay in bed this morning, I realized that if I was going to write about this subject at all, it couldn't be watered down, or modified. The truth said in one paragraph, one word, one line, is better than 40 pages of merry-go-round words that circle round the truth, but never quite hit their mark.

           I would have to write exactly what I wanted to say, without any foo-foo frills, especially considering my subject---Poop.

            Yes poop.

            You can't write about poop like a cat does its business, and cover it up, and hope it smells better.

            It's poop for crying out loud. There's no perfume, glitter, or rainbows that can sugar coat it!


            And that is what this post is about.


            I sound like a four-year-old discovering a bad word. Poop. Poop. Poop!

            I guess so.

            So this is me un-censoring myself.

            This is a post about my personal detox journey, my apoocalypse, my discovery of how heavy metal cleansing has helped me, my mind, my body, my spirit. It's about poop, enemas, parasites, and cleansing. And it's not pretty.

            Poop isn't.

            Last time I checked. It smells. Bad. Looks. Bad. Is. Bad.

            But it would be badder if no one pooped.

            Most of us don't poop often enough.

            Most of us are filled to our eyeballs with it.

            Most of us are constipated body and soul, and have no idea how toxic we are, and it manifests in our are doings, in all our relationships, in everything---clogged, stale, lifeless, dry, crusty, grumpy, gross.


            Most of us don't know, that along with our clogged poop logs, we have parasites living inside us, from our poor diets, from our toxic heavy metal, garbage filled lifestyles, and that we mimic the parasites that inhabit us, needy, leachy, hungry for more and more, using and abusing people and our environment until the life is sucked away from everything we have used, and abused. Then we go and look for another thing, another host to satisfy our cravings.

            When will we stop? When will we cease from spreading our darkness on the innocent?

            Who will call out the poop nuggets when they appear? The poop nugget leaders? The poop nugget rules, created by parasites that need hosts, and followers, and the cycle never ends. Hosts that need parasites, and parasites that need hosts.

            Who will flush the logs-sized lies down?

            All I know is that when you do, if you're brave enough, make sure a plunger is handy.


            Poop a head.

            If you don't like this subject, you may not want to read further.  I decided this post wouldn't be legit, unless I said it all---poop and all.

            Because proof is in the poop. Looking in the toilet, seeing the physical reason why I've felt so crappy for so long, smelling the foul hell smell, experiencing the detox symptoms, and going through the valley of the shadow of poo, and fearing no evil.

            That's what convinced me.

            It's why I'm still totally committed to this cleanse. It has been a revelation, and revealing. I didn't realize that cleansing would make the small things, big, and the big things small. That less would feel like more.  I didn't realize that this cleanse would totally turn me into more of zen monk than anything. Before this cleanse I hadn't fully grasped the concept of meditation. Being utterly alone, for long periods was harder then, because I felt so anxious (All. the. Time) Now I love, love, love being utterly still, alone, and fully satisfied in it. Before, I enjoyed being alone. But my mind had a very hard time shutting off.  It was buzzing more often than not. Buzzing with ideas, and thoughts that wouldn't shut up. Buzzing for approval, buzzing to make things happen, buzzing to get somewhere, buzzing, buzzing. Flitting from one idea to the next. Even when I gave it a good talking to. To. Shut. Up.

It wouldn't listen, most times.

            Three years before the apoocalypse, my sister and I were looking for answers. Our family, though everyone says they are perfectly fine, both sides have some serious mental issues.  Everything I had researched said that pretty much nothing could help, except medication.

            And looking at all the side effects of such medications, I didn't think that was good solution, long term. Every solution seemed more like a covering up of symptoms. Not getting down to the real cause.

            I knew there had to be something that could help.

            I was looking for answers.     

I was aware that my mind was very obsessive. I was getting terrible headaches nearly every week that would hardly let up. It seemed like when one ended, a new one began. I had severe carpel tunnel that was making it hard for me to sleep at night, hard for me to write, or paint. I also had poor digestion, though giving up Gmo foods helped considerably. But I always felt like something was off.

            I was doing everything I could to be healthy. I changed my makeup from toxic store stuff, to pure, chemical free cosmetics, soaps, shampoos, and cleaners. I gave up Gmo foods, we made sourdough bread, we made kefir, homemade kombucha, we drank goat milk, we gave up corn syrup, we changed eating fake hydrogenated oils, to real butter, and good oils.

            We worked out nearly every day, swam, ran, stretched, danced. Heck, I even tried the banana only diet---and that was just depriving, and boring.

            It was a little frustrating. I felt like my body was always inflamed, and I didn't know why. I always stayed about the same weight no matter how much I ate, or didn't eat, or how much I exercised. I hated that my mind would never let me be, and I always felt like I couldn't really feel still. I felt agitated, like I needed something. I had a hard time relaxing at all.

            Then when I found out how terrible heavy metals are for you, for your body and mind, and can literally make you insane. My sister and I made the decision to have our mercury fillings removed by a biological dentist.

            We had nearly tried everything else. So we decided we might as well try this too.

            I wrote about my experience about our mercury removal three years ago, by a biological dentist, and why we did it, why it's so important to have them safely removed. (you can read it here----though I'm sure it needs updating) https://thewritinggarden.blogspot.com/2018/04/migraine-headaches-and-amalgam-mercury.html

            I had no idea where that one step would lead me. But I will be forever grateful for that decision.  We followed the breadcrumbs God gave us, and I'm not the same person I was before.


            Who knew that this heavy metal detox would be one of the most spiritually enlightening things I have ever done.

            Nobody told me I was walking around with a toxic heavy metal load from mercury amalgams gifted to me so long ago, and from va##cines, from toxins, from chemicals, sprays, and other sources. Nobody told me that having such a toxic load would cause me to live in chronic state of inflammation and sickness, anxiety, and fear. No one told me that matter where you go, no matter what you do, no matter how much money you make, who you marry, how many kids you have, how many cars you drive, how many vacations you take, you will be taking all of you with you, the all of you that includes all the toxins you've ever accumulated in your life. All the parasites that feed off of toxic metals, and all the candida, that you can literally see in the toilet---when you detox. All your own poop.

With you at the beach.

With you at the theme park.

With you awake, or asleep.

What I pooped out is the stuff of nightmares.


In order to get to the other side, you have to go through your own valley of the shadow of poop.

And it is evil.

Vile, actually.

Only you can face your own poop.

Only you can get down and smell it.

And flush it away.

No one else can. No one would want too.

It's your own poo.

And until you deal with your own poo, I think you're not really that a fun person to be around anyway. You think your poo is everyone else's. You think that your constipation is someone else's.

To be fair.  You may be right. Your whole circle of humans you are with all the time may be very, very toxic, very constipated, very wormy, needy gross humans.

But you can't do anything about them and their worms. All you can do is love them. And you can't love them the way they deserve, if you don't really love yourself. 

You can only, with God's help, cleanse your own house.

And that's job enough.

But until you know how dirty you are, you really don't have a clue. I can see why Jesus tells us to take out our own mote. First off. Even if you are surrounded by motes, other people's motes of various shapes and sizes, beams, and "literal" motes filled with leeches, and crocks, and piranhas, you can't really do much about anybody's crocks, or chasms.

You can only work on your own mote. And it's project enough.  You'll soon find more of your own beams and motes than you can handle blocking your vision.

If you don't get them out.  All you'll see is motes. Here a mote, there a mote. Everywhere a mote, mote.

If your temple's windows are dirty, the entire world will look dirty.

But nobody wants to hear about poo, parasites, and toxins---that's taboo. Unthinkable.

No one wants to know that their gut is full of black, ropy intestinal plaque.

People say it's not real. That detoxing is fake.


What is your definition of fake?

What do you call real?

How long do you plan on detoxing?

A week.

That's just funny.  

How long did it take for your body to manifest sickness? A lifetime?

I'm not sure what to say, unless you've come face-to-face with your own poop. 

Nothing else would have convinced me.

I was unaware.

Nothing will teach you like your own poop. Nothing is more humbling, or humiliating. 

Nothing his more convincing than seeing with your own eyes, and knowing that what you're doing---is doing something. More something than any other health practice you have ever done.

Raw experience trumps anything anyone could say to me at this point. Even if it sounds crazy. I would, have NEVER! Ever! EVER thought my lovely body was so toxic.

But I've learned the hard way that if I you have lived off of Gmo food, had even one mercury filling, used fluoride toothpaste, had va##ines had parents that were heavy metal toxic, you may be a ripe candidate.

Stinky poo ripe.  

Soft, fruit fly ripe.

Rotten potato ripe.

Heavy metals pry the door to your immune system open, weaken the entire body, and lets all sorts crap, toxins, and parasites inside your temple---irregardless of how squeaky clean you are on the outside, how many times you wash your hands, or practice good hygiene. Heavy metals lowers your immune system, like some thief that breaks into your temple, and lets the raccoons, and the bugs, all the element right in.

I'm sure wearing a mask is the perfect protection against your own toxic poop. (coughs) Do we have a toxic free pass card that would scare the plaque, and parasites from our temple walls, and keep us healthy? How can real health be achieved---without first acknowledging why your body would prone to sickness in the first place, without first addressing your own toxic poo load. What is inside most of us would appall us, if we knew. And I don't think it is something a mask can remedy.


You can't cover toxic.

Detoxing taught me that you are your own epicenter of your shadows. You are your own epicenter of joy as well. Even if it's stormy on the outside, if you have peace on the inside your house will stand the storms.

Is your house a temple, a place where only holy things live, or.....

Or is a place where lies dwell?

Where toxins lurk?

I believe that if you give your body tools. It's smart.

And it will fight in your behalf. 




Enemas were the real apoocalypse for me on this cleanse. A lot was revealed.

A few months into this cleanse after our mercury filling removal, my sister started researching coffee enemas.  I actually remember making fun of her for considering the idea. Enemas were something "old" people did when they couldn't, you know. "Go."

Nothing I had read, or heard about had mentioned such things. It seemed totally a weird, strange, gross, concept.  For me, nothing was more unassuming than coffee enemas. Nothing more obscure, and something I totally would have never considered.

 But even in the humble coffee enema, there existed the obscurity of God's help.  Who knew that his gifts can be as subtle as a coffee enema? And powerful. That this cleanse would help heal my gut, make food taste amazing, make colors vivid, would make it so that the constant pain in my wrist would vanish, that it would finally help quiet my mind, and open it up to better things---the best thing of all.

It was like God was looking down at me, laughing at my protests. Waiting to see if I would listen. Seriously.

 My family has never eaten, participated, consumed, or drank  coffee in any shape or form. Ever. I don't even think our ancestors did either. It's something my ancestral Mormon heritage frowns upon---My programming considered it the smell from hell. Growing up, coffee was only something, "wicked people drank!"

I would go so far as to avoid coffee flavored jelly beans, and chocolates---and gag them out in case of accidental consumption. Who in their right mind would risk hell, after working so hard to being such a good human--for a sweetie?

Use it in an enema? That just was...too much.

 My sister was the one who first pioneered coffee enemas. She didn't have very many mercury fillings, but soon after getting hers removed, and taking some glutathione, she pooped out some ropy looking poop that had her kinda freaked out.

            She researched coffee enemas, and found out that heavy metals can cause all sorts of crap to accumulate in your system, parasites included.

Coffee was supposed to flush the crap out, help your liver detox, ease pain, and help with your whole system detoxing. She was determined to try it. She found an old jar of coffee in the basement my mom had placed in a survival bucket to barter with "coffee drinkers," if we ever had too.

My sister boiled some---Secretly.

But like all good things, my sister didn't stay silent long. Soon after that first enema, she bought some new coffee off the internet, and did several enemas, with good results.

She kept on working on me to try one. But I thought I was doing enough healthy, detox things. I had zero idea how heavy metal burdened my poor body was, and how full of crap I was.

But thank heaven I listened to her.

My sister kept trying. Working on me every day.

She eventually placed a brand new enema bucket in my hands.

"Just try it," were her words.

I was skeptical.

Grossed out.


 I was willing to try a lot of things. I prided myself on my tolerance for being able to stomach gross herbs, and vitamins, and foods. But this was pushing it.  I hadn't heard anything from anybody that enema's were healthy for you, except for constipated people.

I had no idea that it was exactly what my body needed. Little did I know that, that little bucket and I would be great friends, best friends, actually, and that we would spend more time together, than I ever thought.

If you would have told me then, how many enema's I would be doing, from that first one, till now, I would have laughed.

Here was the gateway drug, the "hell bean" that would have me peering into the toilet more times than I can count, stirring through porcelain throne, with a stick---looking for hell goobers. 

Finding lots.

The "hell bean" that would take me through hell, and back, and bring me to the realization of the heaven inside of me that had been covered up. The heaven in each moment, the heaven I'd been missing in the simple colors, smells, light, and nature.

Two cups of coffee. One enema bucket. 

And loads of poo. 

But all I needed was once. And oddly, I was converted. 

Converted to the church of the porcelain throne---Church of the enema bucket. Or coffee bean. A church where an enema bucket was our only possession, and holy communion was done alone, where you were made to face your own poo logs, and lies you told yourself, and made to flush them down. A weird religion where you secluded yourself with your own shit, and faced it.

The only requirement. A total giving up of all your shit, one flush at a time.

Where you learn total humility for your own "shit." and a deeper compassion for everyone else's.

 Welcome to my occult. Where you boil coffee in the morning, and poop it out, and with it, find stillness, more enlightenment than I had previously experienced, more peace and more clarity than my manic mind had ever found before.

The funny thing is when we started the coffee enema's, we were slightly concerned that everyone not in our enema cult would condemn us for our coffee practices. Living in a Mormon community and doing coffee enemas is actually not something you talk about in your family or social circles if you want to have relationships, even if you don't go to Church.

Coffee is the smell of Satan---no joke. If you have the essence of coffee on you, it's like saying you've been visiting hell, and are planning on staying there soon, permanently.

It's like saying you have sold your soul to Satan.



It does smell pretty bad when combined with bodily fluid. 

How do you tell friends, family, that yeah, "I'm boiling some coffee, but no, I don't need or want to drink it, because it's far, far better for you in your butt, than consuming it the normal way. And no I'm not addicted to the caffeine, it's actually good for you down there, and actually gives life to your liver, actually kicks starts it into doing what its made for.  And that doing a heavy metal detox, you have to flush crap out of your system, because there's lots to flush out.

We went through a period of trying to figure out how to hide the smell of coffee, to after three years of it, we just kind of decided to forgo hiding it, and let everyone smell Satan. 

Out of consideration for my nieces and nephews who would not understand, I sometimes try not to boil coffee when I know it would offend them. But sometimes people just show up randomly, and I think, well I can either let you think that I'm quite the chain coffee drinker, or I could tell you I put it in my bum.

I don't know which is worse?

So I usually don't say anything. And the cute little kids of the family think what they think. One time I watched as my nieces and nephews congregating around the stove, looking at a warm pot of coffee, talking in hushed tones.

Oh my...

But who knew that the smell of hell could help bring you to a state of Heaven?

That what we had called, "Bad," was actually the best thing for us. That it was, "Good." in the best sense.

That's a paradigm shift. That's enough to make you question a lot, especially if it helps you in ways you never thought possible.

The truth is. When I first started enemas I didn't poop out anything epic, or feel much different. I was actually, super nervous, and paranoid.

Was it safe? Was I doing it right?

Was I going to go to hell for doing this?

 Would I still be able to, you know, poop on my own if I did this regularly? I did a bunch of research, and for each good thing I found, there were fifty bad things.

Some of the good things I found out were that enemas have actually been around for a long time. And that coffee enemas have been used to treat pain, toxicity, clean the colon, help detox the liver, and kill parasites. I read many personal stories, and watched youtube vidoes of people who have been helped by them.

It seemed like a gamble, either way.

 Oh my. What to do?

All I could tell was that mainstream opinion was dead against it.

I had to decide.

But most of my life, in my family, and in the world in general---I've learned that if someone uses their power to make you afraid, and question yourself, and control you, to doubt your own abilities, and make you feel small. It's wrong.


I decided that I would give coffee enemas a real "go" literally.

I would live with that choice, and the consequences, good or bad. I figured that as I has lived in a hell realm for so long that I didn't have much to lose anyway.

And once I started really, seriously doing this heavy metal cleanse, and doing multiple coffee enemas a day, I figured I had to be okay with maybe donating my body to science in case of detoxing myself into oblivion.

After all, I had tried tons of health diets, read tons of psychology books, health books, positive guru books, listened to hypnosis, positive affirmations, and for the first time I began to have physical evidence that, for once, something I was doing was actually doing something.

Something I can't even give a definite ending point, as if I could say, here I am now detoxed. Here I am now whole, healthy, in perfect moods all the time, zero anxiety, ascended into purity. No. It's been hard. Somedays I feel worse anxiety.

I actually have been brought quite low. And it's humbling.

But this something is so subtle, and powerful. Once you get with it, and once you let old things fall away, once you go through hell----and keep going, a sacred peace replaces the chaos. It settles on you in the stillness, like a butterfly on a flower, unforced, and unexpected. It's a fruit you want to hold on to.

It's a different kind of feel good than band-aiding it with positive affirmations that well meaning teachers try to amp you up with---with such practices there's an element of fakeness that you can't BS yourself into believing long term.

If you don't really feel it on the inside first. It is short lived. At least, in my experience, it feels that way. And all the stuff, all the diets, and lovely talks, healthy foods, are good. But they are the icing on the cake---and I feel that they work much better for me, and make a difference now, much more than they did before, because I feel like more flow in my body has been restored. And gurus, and teachers I would have never listned to in my previous life, now make sense.

Before this cleanse, instead of going inside where the pain was coming from. I tried to fix things from an outside approach.


"The only way out, is in," Junot Díaz.

Once your mind becomes quiet on its own.


You don't want anything else. It is blissful.

That is something I don't think a toxic body can reach very easily. Nearly impossible especially for a heavy metal toxic buzzing ocd mind. Not unless a miracle happens.

But to me, this cleanse is as miracle as it gets.  What is more miraculous than finding peace, what is more blissful than admitting how shallow your desires were? Than seeing life in a softer, gentler way.

This cleanse has helped clear away a lot of the clutter that had blocked me from hearing the subtle whispers that have been there all along. But my own mind has been too noisy to hear them. 

This cleanse has unmasked all of my quirks, fears, anxieties, migraines, and made me face them head on. And they have raged like a terrifying storm.  Yet on the other side. Yet...Through it all.

There is peace.

A peace that does pass all understanding. To the outsider. It would be hard to understand unless you had experienced this, first hand.

“For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.”
― Cynthia Occelli 

            To my friends and family, I'm sure me being on this cleanse has looked like destruction. It's felt like it. An apocalypse, a book of revelations, a breaking up of the old. A harvest. A revealing of all things hidden.

"An apocalypse is a revelation: seeing something which has been hidden. It comes from the Greek word, Apokálypsis, which means "lifting of the veil. or finding out something secret... In religion, the word describes Armageddon or the end of the world." https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apocalypse

This cleanse has been an End times saga---a cleansing by fire. I had no idea that my organs, my liver, my gallbladder, my kidneys, my brain had been poisoned that I was mostly a toxic waste dump.  

An Armageddion of poop.

An unveiling of parasites, and peace.

A revealing of hell, and heaven.



Fasts, and famine.

Heightened Anxiety.

Puking nausea of doom.

Herxheimers detox symptoms. https://bellalindemann.com/blog/pathogen-parasite-die-off-symptoms

A hail of headaches, winds, stormy moods, rain, floods of tears, shadows, dark, stillness, rainbows, bliss, clarity, beauty, peace, serenity, love, life, and acceptance.

It's funny, because when I first started coffee enemas, I couldn't hold in the coffee for more than a few minutes. Now I can put one in, get up, go biking, do what I need to do, or rest, depending on what I have planned for the day. Sometimes I have to remind myself to poop them out.

Contrast that to my first attempts at coffee enemas, I was super, super nervous. I felt brave and a little proud to be doing them. It was something I did first thing in the morning, after I drank some lemon juice with some micro silica in to help grab hold of metals.

Gradually I migrated from the bathroom, and was able to set up a yoga mat in my room, and do the coffee enema's there. I had to concentrate extremely hard not to poop it out. Hence I used this time for total stillness, because if didn't, I would poop my pants. 

This was my yoga practice, holding in coffee for 15 min. Forced stillness. If not, the consequences were dire---diarrhea dire.

At first, I was really agitated. Counting the minutes. Bored. Worried I was wasting time. Worried I was wasting my life. Then I was able to hold it in longer. Until I actually forgot about the time. I would read, listen to my favorite guru, mediate.

I began enjoying being still. Then I began noticing that the enemas really made me feel softer, brighter, less chaotic. I felt cleaner inside and out. I began doing them when I felt anxiety, or emotionally off balance. I sometimes fell into a super relaxing sleep.

I didn't poop out anything epic until doing them for quite a while. And then the really crappy stuff came out after introducing, charcoal, psyllium, and the powerful smelly 10in one drops. It is oober-crazy powerful parasite grenade of ozonated essential oil. It smells like a garlic bomb. And it is----not for the faint of heart. I remember the first time I took a few drops, and oh boy. I had such a stomach ache of doom.

We joke that when you take it, it's 10in one ways to make you feel gross.

I remember doing multiple enemas, and was totally grossed out by what I pooped out the next day. I always want to keep this oil on hand.  If you're worried about social distancing, the plague, or other sickness, the smell of garlic will keep people well over 6ft away, if not more. Here's the link for those crazy enough to be interested.    https://www.amazon.com/BioPure-Ten-One-Oil-Frankincense/dp/B010TVIORA/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=biopure+ten+in+one&qid=1616893285&sr=8-2

Also adding Lyposomal glutathione may be the difference in making it so your body is not overwhelmed. I think of it as one of my best friends in heavy metal detox, along with IMD micro silica. They help to grab hold of the metals. They are the hard workers that help do the heavy lifting.

We just discovered this brand of glutathione, and I like it a lot. (It does, like the back label says, ("taste interesting" ) Like weird fermented eggs. But it is powerful. So powerful, that, after one dose for my brother, who still has mercury in his mouth, had some not so fun detox symptoms that he was not prepared for. So, just a heads up, if you still have mercury in your mouth, it might not be a good idea to take.

Here's the link for the glutathione


 Here's a link to the metal sweep.https://www.amazon.com/BioPure-Metal-Sweep-grams-powder/dp/B010TTC3H4

There's lots of other detox things we take. But I'm only mentioning these, as you should do your own research as much as possible.

Cleaning out heavy metals, combined with coffee enemas has been---interesting.

You never know what will come out in the toilet. Everyday there's a new adventure to be had, stirring through your poop.

It began to be running commentary in our house if someone was being "crunchy" which is my word for grumpy. "You need to go do an enema."

"Hand em an enema bucket." 



World in chaos?


Power hungry?





Emotionally constipated?

Pooping emotional garbage on someone else?


Caught in blaming?

Wash it out.

"I ain't listening to your crap. I've got enough of my own."

You start to look at people, and be like, hmm...I think that poor greedy dude is full of---monsters.

Is it your anxiety?

Is it you or your parasites running the show?

Do they want carbs, or you?

What has been inhabitating your Temple?

You? Or something else?

Would I recommend this cleanse to just anyone? 

Nooooooooo.  Not at all.

I think most of us are too toxic to do it right. Metals don't leave your body in a day, and it sounds like it takes years to detox from them properly. Especially if you don't have help from someone who knows what they were doing, like a medical professional or a holistic doctor.

In fact, it's so traumatic, so life altering, so drastic, and puts you through some of the worse symptoms of your life, and terrible anxiety, and crazy moods. I sometimes wonder what I'm doing. Detoxing completely cracks you, shell and all. It sheds light into every shadow. It illuminates every crack, cranny, and junk drawer, and forgotten trash you put in a corner.

And it's not fun to face the junk drawers of yourself, bodily, mentally, or spiritually.

You feel crappy a lot! Once I started on this journey---and I looked behind the curtain, and saw what's been running the show, and that my consciousness has been mostly in the shadowlands. Some sunny times. But mostly cloudy. I began to realize how many things, like the toxins were infiltrating my life, attaching onto me, and stealing my joy. Robbing me of me. Robbing me of my health. I began to realize that if I didn't take time to work on myself, first. No one would.

I stopped a lot of my previous doings because cleansing really takes up a lot of time.  And it has given me a lot of brain fog. I sometimes have stellar focus. Other times, none at all. One day I'll feel great. And then feel---really gross---bad gross.

So cleansing is not at all convenient for a busy lifestyle, or good for building up your ego especially if you get your sense of identity out of achievement. I can't really go up to friends and family and say, today's accomplishment is that I pooped out a hell goober.....

That would really go well.

Cleansing pares you down, whittles and, chisels away a lot of needlessness. It has forced me to be myself without any frills, and props. A place where you just have to let God rebuild you, as he also deconstructs you. And have faith that what looks like destruction is God's reconstruction.

Making art is great.

But we are the art.

You are the novel.

The story.

A story that is written each moment.

And I have to be okay with that.  I've also realized that the truth of this cleanse is too much for most people. And most of us are eating so badly, taking so many pills, numbing ourselves with so much, that it would be an impossible thing to do even talk about---much less do.

So when I have people ask why I've lost so much weight, or silently assume that I'm starving myself---I usually let them think what they think, without explaining myself.

It's a string that if pulled, you may not want to know.

Hence this blog post is my own personal manifesto.

It may look like I'm starving myself. But I've never been more full.

This cleanse is not something you do half way. It's a lifestyle change. It will slap you in the face with all your hidden emotions. If you've had trauma, if you've suffered from something and not faced it, it'll come up, and you'll feel it. I think your liver stores emotions, and the more toxic your liver is, the harder it is to let go of stuff.

I don't know a lot of things. One thing I do know for me personally. Heavy metals. Are. Death! Period.

If I could, I would take everyone I cared for, and didn't care for, to a biological dentist, and get their mercury safely removed.

That I would do. Even if I couldn't detox afterwards.

I know that doing coffee enemas have improved improve my life, and my mood, and that of a few of my family members. And I will be forever grateful for the knowledge that people have posted on the internet about their detox journeys.

Hence I am adding my voice to theirs. Make of it what you will.

One person in particular, one website, the health bible we have gotten help from is the Superman diet--heavy metal detox website. My sister bought his health course when it was available, and we learned as much information from it as possible. It has been something I will be forever thankful for. His stuff really rings true. Nearly everything he has suggested, or recommended we have tried, or made, or bought, and I trust his info---because it has helped me.

Check it out! 



I know now more than ever that my body is God's temple.

And if it's dirty, my ability to see the beauty inside and out, is greatly obscured.

I didn't always quite understand it like I do now.

After being brought to know how dirty it has been, I will guard its gates more carefully.

Let no unclean thing enter.

Sweep out the gutters.

Clear the shadows.

Restore what was lost.

Let life flow.

Sweep the cobwebs. 

Let go of the old.

Embrace the clarity that has been hidden by shadows.

Let the holy spirit reside.

Let the truth purify its walls. 

Heaven is here.

It is. It really is.  It is unveiling.

Right now.

Before our eyes.

The Mayans knew it was the end.

The end of everything that has blocked us from God.

Let the truth be seen.

It's far more beautiful than anything.

Let the old die.

 Only then can there be a Resurrection.

  And it is beautiful.

   Three years ago I would have never dreamed I'd be writing a blog post about poop, and coffee enemas.  It's humbling. Humiliating. And if you happen to be some random friend or neighbor that stalks my blog, and this poo post has grossed you out---you can stand six feet away, if you feel you need to. Social distance if you must...

The scripture that comes in mind is when Christ is calling the Pharisees unclean---which is very close to the Essene gospel's text.
Just know that chances are, if you can't go without bread or sugar without getting hangry, you may not be so clean yourself.

Matthew 23:27
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness."

Essene Gospel actually mentions enemas---“Think not that it is sufficient that the angel of water embraces you outwards only. I tell you truly, the uncleanness within is greater by much than the uncleanness without. And he who cleanses himself without, but within remains unclean, is like to tombs that outwards are painted fair, but are within full of all manner of horrible unclean things and abominations."

I read through the full text and, was smiling the whole time, thinking, like okay. Huh. huh! That's awesome. Had I read it before I had experienced enemas first hand, I would have scoffed.

 You can read more of the Essene text if click on the below link. The entire article is excellent, and gives an in depth description on why enemas are good for you. I totally recommend reading it. Super interesting. 



In any case, at the very end of this post, I'll post some poop videos of what detox poops look like. Not mine, though!

With each toxic dump, I usually got a terrible, panic attack, or headache of doom, stomach upset, loads of weird cravings, or couldn't eat for a long time before or after I got the toxins out of me.

I'd look into the toilet and say, okay, there's my anxiety, there's my headache, there's my fear.

Flush it Down. The Smell of the pit of doom.

Moridor poops. 

I've had a lifetime of toxins in me. And there's no timeline, no goalpost that says, if you do ABC and in this amount of time you will feel. EFG. 

Sometimes I feel great. Other times not so much.

I'm still living my own book of Revelations.

And I'm not sure how it ends.

The world turns into a ball of glass?

Everything gets burned up?

Either way.

Everyday something is revealed. And something is flushed away.

And that's good enough for me.


Don't worry, that's just coffy stains from a well used bucket

How to do a coffee enema

First off, if you're more into how to videos than reading. Here's a video tutorial I found off of youtube. (it's simple and informative.) 



This is also a wonderful video about enemas, and the gersan therapy.  It is an in depth explanation on why they are so good for you. How they helped heal cancer patients. https://thehealthyfamilyandhome.com/detox-and-cleansing-kits/coffee-enemas/

Coffee enemas are not rocket science, and once you get past the mental block of it, you'll be able to breeze through them. Turn on your favorite music, guru, or get a book out and read while you hold it in. It may be the best part of your day.

What you will need. A nice quiet room to do it in. You will probably want to start off in your bathroom, and lay down on the floor or bathtub so you can hold it in. At least 15 min of undisturbed time.

You will need an enema bucket. You can get just about any kind you like. Here's a link for one on Amazon.


Next you will need to boil two cups of coffee.  Roughly two tablespoons of ground coffee for two cups of water. Make sure you use a healthy, organic coffee---one that is a light roast is best. Most coffee's have a lot of pesticides. So that's why you'll want organic coffee. This a brand I like. I grind the beans up in my blender.

Here's the Amazon link.


Once you've boiled the coffee grounds, let the coffee cool down to semi warm. Make sure you let it cool down so it won't burn your bum---just a gentle warm. But not too cold or you wont be able to hold it in as long. Test it with your finger to see if it's a good temperature.

After you've got it safely warm, fill your enema bucket with the coffee, and head off to your bathroom, or selected area. 

You'll probably want to try it first on the toilet. 

Make sure you run the coffee through the enema hose so the pump is primed.  Put some oil, I prefer coconut oil, on the tip of the hose, and on your bum for easy inserting. 

Find your pooper hole, and just gently put it in. Not too far, though, and carefully.

Once you got it in, make sure place your bucket on a stool, and lay down, and undo the latch that opens the flow of coffee from the bucket to the hose.

Then just chill out on your yoga mat, and relax. I like to lay on my right side, where my liver is, so it can do its magic. Sometimes I lay on my other side, just depending how my body feels.

Then when your bucket is empty, clamp the enema hose shut, and take the end of the hose out.

Ta da!

Now that the coffee is inside you, just chill out. Relax. Hold it in. At first you will probably feel like you're going to explode. Don't worry. You wont. And if you do. You'll just clean up just dandy, and so will your floor.

Hold it in for at least 15 min, and then poop it out.

Done. Now wash out your your enema bucket.

Below I've posted several links I found valuable, for more in-depth coffee enema's how tos---and information on why they are so good for you. 


Enemas are supposed to help your body produce serotonin, so they can help you relax







Warning poop videos ahead

 So here's my avocado plant. Holy guacamole....as a poop buffer.

 That is what you're going to say if you scroll down any further. 

You're welcome.