Hello.
Well, I haven't
posted anything since last year....sooo long.
It only feels like,
maybe a week. I have zero concept of time.
Time? What is that? Something that wouldn't exist without the space in which it occupies.
:)
Technically, we just
had the Chinese new year, so happy year of the Water rabbit.
And even more odd, yesterday, I just celebrated a Christmas cast party with friends we do our summer plays
with. We did Christmas music, and food, and all that.
I had heard that
Ukrainians celebrate Christmas twice.
My Christmas tree is still up.
And I just made some pine-needle tea from someone's discarded christmas tree, that looked too pretty to leave where we found it. I did even think about putting that one up in our living room. (though if your make your own make sure the variety of pine you use is safe to consume as some can be poisonous. Amazon also has pine needle tea.
So
And twice new years,
as well.
I'm sure there's a
word for someone who extends holidays indefinitely---?
I'm just sitting
here, listing to some music on Pandora with my bird, Sophie, perched on my
chair, watching me. There was a fun song that first came on, where I felt like
dancing, so I got up and did a jig, and Sophie wasn't sure what in the heck I
was doing. She stretched her neck out, and looked at me very oddly.
Now drums are sounding. And epic
music is now playing, with full orchestra, complete with deep bass voices, high
voice, and a choir---I had to check what was playing. Some song called,
immortal. Very heroic-sounding, and good.
Sophie seems content. She's got all
her feathers proofed out, and I love watching her. Her favorite place is on my
lamp. She sits there, fluffs out her feathers and becomes one with the light.
She looks quite wise, and phoenix-like with the lamp silhouetting her feathers.
The other day, she hopped off my lamp, and landed on my bed, and sat on covers,
and peered into my nest of blankets, and we both stared at each other, content
in our solitude. Her little eyes, blinking at me as she drifts to sleep, always
gives me such delight. She knows when I'm watching her, and giving her attention.
Now some
lovely music has come on, called Ludovico
Einaudi, Daniel Hop--time laps is now playing.
I drive my family nuts because I love
having some sort of music playing the background. Music is something that has
always helped me write, and work, and make things feel softer, calmer.
Sometimes I
can't help but wish that life was narrated by music. If it was, you would know
exactly what to prepare for, because you would hear the somber music playing,
and get the cue to pay attention.
You'd walk
into a room, and David
Arkenstone - Solitude's
music would be playing. Just from the contemplative sound, you'd know that
someone was deep in thought, or sad, or lonely, and you'd just sit. And not say
a word, just feel and soak in the feeling of that moment.
Or you'd
hear a fleet of trumpets, or drums sounding as someone was at the door, and
you'd know, that someone royal, or full of themselves was wanting an audience.
Maybe you'd
not answer the door.
Or if blah, elevator music sounded when the phone rang, you know that it was salesman, or a long-winded person you'd rather not chat with.
Angry
people---oh, the clash, you'd hear so you'd know to stay far away.
People
who's manic mouths are always moving, would have the flight of the bumblebee
droning on.
Scary
scenes would have the scraping sound of violin music going.
Warm summer
days, with floating clouds, and little wildflowers would have some classical
wandering music softly playing.
Music makes
things much more easy. This was my thought as I was skating today, with music,
and enjoying it so much, though the wind was blowing, and it was oh, sooo,
cold. The music made me forget it was
cold.
Today was
the first "real" day of getting to ice stake since the weather has
been so beautifully good bad, odd.
It's been spring one day.
Snow.
Rain.
Sun.
Gray.
Blue.
Brilliant sunsets.
Frost.
Fog.
Thunder.
Wind.
And everything in-between.
Much like how I've been feeling.
But today it finally got cold enough
to ice skate. This ice rink has been an interesting venture, as I was
determined to even the ground much more than it's been, because it saves on
water to have the ground even.
So I dug, and dug with a shovel and
bucket just a little at a time.
It actually paid off, because I
didn't have to fill it with quite so much water.
Who would
have thought that a tiny, 50x30foot space could give so much pleasure? It felt
especially good. I had some stress in my system that I was able to skate off.
I was thinking maybe about not doing the rink this year. But I did. And even if
this is the only day I get to skate, I was glad to have put it up.
Skating is
such a flowing meditative art, I always feel myself composing words, and
thoughts, and feelings as I slide across the ice. If you were to translate the
etches in the ice from my ice-skates, you would hear beautiful thoughts, like a
recorded record, etched into the ice.
If you
could find the record player for those grooves, what things you would hear?
Things
written with my feet, and heart. Round, and round, in circles, and eight
patterns. Conversations about life, echoes from past years, expansive ideas,
the feeling of unfolding.
Here.
Poetry of
the ice, and the cold, and the winter ground, the sun, and the sky.
Of the frozen things
trapped without a voice.
These
things you would hear.
It's funny
because you would think we would get bored going round, and round the same
rink.
But not so.
The more
you get into the flow of it, you just keep going. It's addicting.
Yet look at
the planets, the earth everything. So many trips around the sun. Spinning.
Spinning. Round and round. The world goes.
Has it
stopped once?
Does it get
bored?
You'd think
it would get tired of spinning. Going round and round.
Yet, I am starting to
see why we go round, and round the same rink over and over.
Every time you do.
Something changes.
You.
You're different.
Every time you spin,
there's something else to see.
Something new to
feel. The sky is always changing as well.
I just read that a
few days ago the earth's core switched directions and started spinning in a new
direction.
Don't ask me who
measures these things? It made me wonder....does that mean time shifts? Maybe that's why I'm having second christmas and second new years---what if that means we live our year backwards. Does that mean second thanksgiving, and Halloween? Mind-blown...! Maybe the real christmas was really on January 25th. Now my mind's spinning. Didn't think that until now.
Anyhow it made me think
about how my sister and I skate on the ice.
Bess likes to skate left
to right.
I like to skate right
to left.
Today we practiced
switching around so we could give each other a chance to skate in our preferred
direction, because our hips and ankles get sore from skating as we are more
used to using different muscles.
We eventually decided a figure eight pattern worked, because
it went both directions.
Round, and round.
Here, the muse of the ice imparts
its wisdom.
Here in
whatever space you are, be it big, or little, on ice, or water, or ground,
our only
real task in this life, is to find the unlimited, even while in a limited,
mortal-time bound world. Our little life-rink.
Some of us
may be blessed with may opportunities, endless ways to expand, and glide, and
swirl, and spin. Maybe your body has great capabilities, unlimited ways of
expressing yourself, maybe you can leap, and jump, and twirl.
Maybe your
space is so small, all you can do is go in little loops. Maybe your legs aren't
strong, so you have to skate with a walker.
Maybe it's
your first time round, and you are terrified of falling.
Maybe
you've been on the ice many times, maybe you can teach others how to skate.
Yet, we are
all on the ice together. All trying to balance as best we can, and enjoy our
trip round the rink.
We all have
our little part to play.
Our little
bit of earth to live on, and learn from.
Maybe you
have a big space, maybe you've skated from one end of the globe to the other.
Maybe
you're like me. Maybe all you have is a 50x30foot space to expand.
Yet...if
that is yours. That's all you need. It's perfect.
Sometimes,
the smaller the arena, the tighter the physical limits, the higher probability
you have in finding the limitless inside the limited---to find the real, beyond
what we can see, hear, taste and touch.
To look
past everything that is a boundary, and find that there is nothing that your
heart and soul can not reach, no place where your soul can not skate.
It matters
very little how many tricks you may learn, and do, your spins, and jumps, and
showy costumes. They're all just confetti. And can be quite distracting to
yourself, and others.
What
matters...
The
space beyond the space.
Here,
while spinning round, and round, if you're lucky, you might, stumble upon the
now moment, even without trying, and find the space between the patterns, and
the boundaries of our human condition,
and find ultimate arena, where you feel the unlimited, ever expansive
soul of the cosmos.I made a very dizzyfying video---