I’ve not been feeling so good as of late. It's not something particularly explainable. I feel like I'm disintegrating….or at least parts of me.
I have been feeling so tired, and light-headed. I wonder sometimes If I’m picking up on the collective distress, or if my liver is cleaning out...probably both.
I woke up and felt some distress, or static in the air, and tried writing, but I was distracted, so after I milked the goats, I sat with sun, it felt soothing, but the noise outside was so disturbing as a whole crew of prison people were making war on the lovely grove of trees by the ditch that had grown up into a forest of sorts.
I watched the men with chainsaws zipping them down, and my heart just ached.
I loved those trees, and had appreciated how big they grown, how the light shown through them, and watched as their leaves changed color, and now…the sacred protectors of the land, the trees that watch silently, are falling, becoming someone else's fuel.
I swear, if the world ends, it's mans stupidity, not Gods.
The men chopping the trees down would be far better off if they would sit beneath them and ponder God, and their own precarious spot in this world.
It feels the cutting, severing, splitting wood energy is too close for comfort.
I told my sister the other day that most people are so split themselves, they can't help but try to split you, like wood, so they can burn you as fuel.
Yet, I feel that most of our souls are so leaky, and split that the chopping energy is running rampant, as we’re all so leaky of soul. The karma only stops at people who don't become splitters, and choppers, even if they may have holes and leaks themselves---why not try to fix the holes in their own boat as best they can, without passing the holes along.
There has been such an influx of beautiful energy, grace energy, peace, warmth, goodness in this world, I'm not sure if many feel it. But I have.
Yet, light also reveals shadows, like someone lifting a old log, and squashed grass and bugs underneath are the first thing you see.
The influx of so much light has caused all of us to see our own holes, and shadows. I think that's why there's been such a frantic, hungry, searching energy sweeping through the earth, everyone looking for the illusive, "it."
The leaky soul has a hard time feeling where the "it" is found. Hence chopping happens.
There's been so many people in distress, so many people ill, and so many people that have made a mass exodus from this world, I worry about everyone, and hope they can be lucky as me, and find the lovely bits, and see that everything is far more beautiful than it is ugly, despite what sometimes looks like the end.
Sitting here, writing this got me to thinking about how this is Thanksgiving week. And there has been so many wonderful beautiful, delicious, things in my life. And since my computer has been resurrected for the time being, though it's breathing is quite labored, I can now post pictures!!!! I am grateful for that. I won't post a picture of it, as it's lying on it's side slightly dissected.
Another beautiful thing I am grateful for is, Sophy. She's a funny bird who loves music. Her story began when I was walking in the yard with my sister, and I saw, under one of our tallest trees, a bird just sitting there on the ground. I watched it for a minute, and thought perhaps, she was injured. I took a step towards her. She lifted her feathers, just a bit, so I could see a little head beneath her wings. I took another step, and she bolted. Underneath her was the cutest baby bird.
Oh my gosh! My heart was touched that this beautiful bird would stay with her little baby, on the ground, where danger lurked, keeping her safe. I was worried that my cats would make a quick meal of the now exposed baby bird. So I made a barrier around the bird, with an open top, and kept on checking on it. But sadly, it's mom didn't return. So I scooped it up, and have been caring for her. Now, Sophy, that's what I named her. She likes to sit, on my keyboard, and clean the keys. She went through a phase of hitting the home button, and qlikes the lettrerr e. Thotse typos are hers.
Now I know ehere typos com from. She keeyps geeting in my pay, way. gosh. I ope she doesn't poop on them. But I don't have the heart to scoop her off, as she's having such great fun. Crumb scavenging, as I my fingers scavenge for words. yWho know words could be so delicious?!
Now if she hits the delete key, I know I shant post this. Never has she had so much fun. The other day, while I was playing koto, she kept hitting the tuner buttons on the tuner, and changed the key sharper than it should have been.
Anyhow, I had been writing about...oh...gosh, she did poop....!!!
Give me a minute... my fingers are covered.....so are the keys.
Minute up.
Anyhow, what was I saying? Oh I just wanted to give her a bit of credit for this blog post.
She was making some really weird noises, and she rarely makes sounds. Yesterday she was going on, as if she was trying to tell me something very important, and this morning, as well. So I thought, well, the wordless one is making some noise, why don't I....
Sophy is so cute. I took this video, and as you can see, she loves music.
Loves it.
This video makes me happy. I wanted to share it.
I really love her.
Something else that gives me great pleasure is my greenhouse. I took this picture just before the frost got it, as it's not quite warm enough to sustain cucumbers. But I still have flowers blooming, and some other plants left.
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| The moon. It's so very under appreciated. How I love it. |
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| My garden, before it got messy. And frosted, and bugged, and chickened, and eaten. |
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| The beautiful rivers... |
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| The fact that I get to paint my floors... |
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| My odd friend, bug that follows me while milking goats. |
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| Weeds, and wild things. |
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| popcorn clouds! |
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| Angel ray clouds |
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| The reflections in the river nearest my house. |
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| My bestest biking buddy. |
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| Milkweeds! |
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| My two favorite palls. |
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| The little patch of wilderness by my house, and rainbows! |
Which reminds me, I don't have a picture of it. But I love my rainbow vacuum cleaner, is freaking awesome. I love it so much. A lady came and did a demo, and tried to get us to buy one for the price we paid for our car....
However, you could use the vacuum, as a vehicle, and drive it into town, that could be a perk. You'd be driving and cleaning the roads at the same time. Finally, the world would be made clean again . But sadly, as the worlds most eco-cleanest friendly car has not been invented yet, so we declined, her offer. But the desire had already been planted to someday own one, it took a year or so to manifest, but I shopped around on ebay, and eventually pieced together all the makings of the said, vacuum, without having to use it as a car, and it is my favorite, most satisfying vacuum I have ever owned. I like it so much I think I could make entire post dedicated to its abilities. It's like I bought a colin for our floors, that you get to clean, and see the grime and mud all sloshed inside its water canister.
Another thing I'm grateful for.
The top of my chicken coup.
It is a wonderful place to watch the sky.
Yes.
I am so very grateful for beautiful words, and beautiful people.
Trees.
And skys.
And stars.
And paint.
And noodles.
And soft things. And colors. And sweet aromas. Rain, and wind, and thunder.
Authentic laughs, and candid moments.
Music, and singing, and songs, and sounds....
Autumn, and winter, and spring, and summer, and the inbetween bits.
The teachers both sweet, and sour, salty, and bitter, smiles, and frowns, and silence, and words filling the silence. Hope, and anger, and fear, and, all the seasons of emotions that are all ours to glean wisdom from. Success, and failure, and broken things, and fixed things, and things that work, and things that don't work. And cut down trees, that make me appreciate the trees that are still growing, and the warmth I have in my own fireplace.
Herbs, and plants, and growing things. Water, and ice, and fire, and air.
Friends, and enemies, family, and cloud people that drift in and out, that you appreciate from a distance because you can see the entire sky, and their place in it.
Simple food, and simple places, simple people, and simple days.
Butterfly wings, and feathers, and fluff.
The blue in bluebird eggs, the red of a robin's chest.
The sound that wings make when they take flight.
Fallen pencils, so you can pick them up and hand them to a stranger, forgotten wallets, that you can return just before their owner drives away.
Open doors, and locked doors.
Windows, and glass, and crystal, see-through things.
Warm clothes out of the dryer.
The happy squeal of delight of my mother when she finds something she loves.
Movement, and dancing, and bare toes on wet soil.
Happy accidents, and aligned moments.
Knowing glances that need no words.
Being still in the stillness.
An empty mind, a full heart.
Strong arms.
Gentle hands.
My sister who always helps me carry things I couldn't carry alone.
Poetry, and movement, and motion, and dance, and the spots and speckles on animals fur.
Butter, and bread, and peaceful people who are present in their task, deliberate, and content. Delicious people who need nothing, because they love what they have.
Summer, and rivers, and oceans, and wells, and springs, and brooks, and dew, and the patterns of frost on my window.
Green leaves, and crunchy leaves, and leaves decayed.
Silk sheets, and silk pillow cases, and weighted blankets, soft fluffy coats.
Gloves, and hands inside the gloves.
Steamy warm drinks, and cold lemon juice.
Dragonflies, and lightening bugs, and caterpillars, and butterflies.
Lost things, and found things, and things found you forgot you lost.
Old purple bottles, swirly, ancient marbles.
Glittery dew on a spiders web.
And dewy glitter as the suns rays hit the water.
These are a few of the lovely things I love.